I need your advice... girls... guys... its a vulnerable subject?

i need your advice... help... im a guy... im a sophmore in college and one thing that i care deeply about is my weight and looks. around 2 years ago i weighed in at over 340 + pounds... i decided to make a change and ever since i have changed.. i lost over 100 pounds... and during freshman year of college... it was like the new me is here and i want to succeed. i want to succeed in having the confidence to talk to that pretty girl in class or that pretty girl at the party. and i did... i gained confidence... but within the past 4 to 6 months, i realized that even though i did lose 100 pounds... i still wasn't happy with my body. i still couldnt take my shirt off and walk around my suite and have my sutiemates stare... so i guess that i looked great thin with clothes on but was not confident with my clothes off. last month i weighed in at around 237 pounds... i have lost my confidence and im trying to gain it back... recently i have payed attention to my diet and excericse and really tried to make a change... so today i weighed in around 219 pounds... i feel better... i feel happier... but im scared of next semester... i guess im a person who thinks that my friends are more attractive then i am and they get the attractive girls. my entire point of what i just wrote is... can a guy like me regain confidence? can i actually date a girl who is stunning and proud to say that she is my girlfriend? i guess what im saying is... is that i feel like my entire life being fat, the only girls that were attracted to me... i wasn't attracted to them... and now with this change... i want to find someone or people that i think are attractive and they think that im attractive as well. again.. i feel like my friend is always succeedding with pretty girls because he's in better shape, and he's been thin for most his life while i am a rookie in being a person that is not considered obese... or fat. not many people know how i feel.. not many people know that i do struggle with self improvement.

and on a side note... i think major reason why i had lost confidence is due to the fact that i had a crush on a girl in high school and i recently told her what was going on. she had acknowledged my courage to be proud for what i have done... but basically it was a rejection and i took that heart and i think thats why i went south in my confidence and trying to gain it back.

i also didn't include but want to include is that im a person who thinks that im unattractive and that the only girls that will be attracted to me are the girls that im not attracted to them
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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're the perfect weight for a guy, not too skinny and not too big :) I think it's great that you're trying to lose weight, just don't take it too far, and trust me, I think others would agree that being skinny isn't the reason why most guys get the "pretty" girls. You could easily find someone who would be proud to call you their girlfriend, you just have to go to the right places to meet them :D Don't worry, you're doing great.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know I was 324 I'm 297 trying to get down to 210 I weight lift and keep myself happy. Guess I've just found the right girls in the past even though I wa insecure they liked me. I would join clubs at school like I did and get to know girls there. Best way I did and started hanging out and got romantic with one... just have to throw yourself out there wether you want to or not. You'd be amazed


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • You can definitely regain your confidence. It may not happen over night, but if you work at it you'll soon start to feel better. Keep trying to make yourself look better if it makes you happy because once you're happy in your own skin, you'll start to look confident and happier to other people.

    Rejection is a hard thing for a lot of people to face and getting over that fear isn't easy. Once you get over that fear somewhat or completely, it will make life a whole lot easier, believe me.

    You will find a girl and even though it might feel like it's taking a long time, it will be worth the wait.

    • thanks for the reply :)

    • Show All
    • No need to be sorry. The more information you give, the easier it is to understand your situation. I can kind of relate when it comes to your situation.

    • your awesome :)

  • I have no idea what you look like but that doesn't matter. A guy like you can get his confidence back. It will probably take some time but that is okay! There is no reason that you should feel ashamed. I am sure you are very good looking person! I am only a sophomore in high school, and I sometimes look at myself and wonder if I am to big to fit in with my friends, but I have to think about who I am on the inside. You may find a pretty girl, but just because she is pretty on the outside doesn't mean she is the same on the inside. A person should love or like you for who you are not what they see. Once you begin to love yourself, and think that you can do so much more you will realize what I mean. However, you can get your confidence back. Keep working hard for that body that you want, you have already come along way. Don't stop now! :) I wish ya the best!

  • Of course you can be confident again. I was a girl who lacked confidence for a long time. I've been rejected a bunch of times but that the reason how i before confident in the first place. Now i talk to people without worrying how i look because i think. The worst that can happen is that I'll be rejected so honestly i don't care anymore. Just say what you want to say and don't doubt yourself an you can be more confident. Lack of confidence can make you miss ut on a lot of opportunities so just go for what you want without thinking about the outcome and i can assure you that you'll have more confidence

    • that was really nice... thank you

What Guys Said 2

  • You shouldn't have to change. If a girl don't want you for who you truly are, she ain't worth your time. So what if you're a little bigger than average. You're you and that's all that matters. Just hang in there and u promise a right girl will come along you just have to be patient.

  • You should try a vegan ketogenic diet. Your fat will melt off like hot butter.

    This site covers a lot about the ketogenic diet in general. Obese people generally benefit from cutting the carbs.


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