Well first off this is a serious question please try to answer seriously, this is an issue I deal with that has driven me to attempting suicide and getting hospitalized. <-- disclaimer
I'm really ugly (regardless of what you think or say I AM ugly) and no confidence doesn't not attract women and no beauty is not in the eye of the beholder and yes for the millionth time look DO matter a TON to EVERYONE.<--- second disclaimer to avoid the same old answers.
As I stated above this has gotten to me really badly to the poiint of doing things. I work out obsesively and clear my face of acne to extremes that are not healthy and this has become a very debilitating issue. It sure as hell doesn't help that everyone around me (family members, female friends, girls I'm interested in) call me ugly all the time.
I don't feel to good. I used to love to skateboard but I stopped because it made me too skinny. I turned down a good salesperson job because I don't feel well dealing with people. I also dropped out of college because I felt scared to be outside with so many people judging my looks. I really don't know what to do..
And do say "just be confident" you can't be confident woithout achievments and no faking it doesn't work
Most Helpful Girl
First off, you don't look unattractive to me one bit. But I will first start off by saying everyone finds different people attractive. There are people I think are so attractive that my friends don't find attractive and vice versa. Just because a few people don't find you attractive doesn't mean you're ugly. Also, if you carry yourself like someone who doesn't have confidence it'll make you look worse then if you were upbeat I can guarantee you. I will also tell you that even considering myself pretty by normal standards, there have still been people in my life putting me down telling me I'm too skinny, etc. and picking me apart. Being criticized by others happens to people on all levels of attractiveness. Eventually you just have to learn to be happy with yourself and know that there are people out there that will think you look perfectly fine.0
Most Helpful Guy
Let me try my best to write some stuff.
Lemme get the stuff out of the way (I'm sorry but it is necessary)-- no. You aren't ugly. You may not be the perfect 10 (very few are), but I've seen guys WAY less attractive than you and still get girlfriends and also be happy in life. I'm sure you don't believe my words, but I do truly honestly mean them from the bottom of my heart.
I think one problem lies in the fact that you are accepting what people say. I've been called ugly by people, but I learned that it is best just to ignore them. No matter what you think or what some people may think of you, I can guarantee you can still find happiness. If you are worried about women, I can say that there is a woman for everyone out there. Many women have confidence problems too. I suggest that you find a spot where you can hang out and meet people. Many will reject you, so be prepared for harsh words, but all you need is one to accept you.
I think the main problem is not with your looks, but most likely self esteem. It sounds like you need some self esteem boosters. I suggest going back to skateboarding because it not only gives you something you love, but it is also something people find interesting. You say confidence doesn't come without achievements-- but hey, you got skateboarding. You got a potential to get a good job (maybe a salesperson job in the future) and if you go back to college, you got a good education. What do you mean no achievements? Those are pretty flippin' awesome achievements right there! They can be even better if you cash in your chips so to speak and go for it all! There is no need to fake confidence because it doesn't work like you said, but you just need to realize that you have all the makings of a person who can give off confidence. All you have to do is accept yourself and figure out that it is ok to share to people about yourself.
Given the fact this is getting the point of bad social anxiety, I also suggest you seek a professional and set up a scheduled time slot with them. If you go in for sessions, they'll be able to give you the help you need in a non-judging place.
From one dude to another, you aren't ugly. Even if you think you are, know your life can still be great. We never know what life will leave us with years from now, a month from now, or even a minute from now. Reality will give us what we put in. Throw yourself out there! Rejection is ok. Being judged is ok. If you have one person that accepts you, then you've won.0
- Show AllShow Less