Girls, how do I look (long question, bear with me)?

I don't have many friends. I have a social circle of 5 guys and 1 girl, but we don't hang much due to summer classes/jobs/college prep. what can I do? (don't say be more social or be nice). I'm 18, and a high school graduate. I will go to CSUEB in the fall. I've talked to chicks before, but more as acquaintances. when I ask them to hang out, I say "wanna hang out sometime in the summer"? I don't want to date, just to hang (as a final way of seeing them before college). everytime I saw a girl, she had a tight clique/boyfriend/was busy with schoolwork. in their free time, they hang with their cliques. I don't know what I do wrong. I'm nice and do talk to everyone (I'm shy, but won't shut up around a friend/nice person). these girls would also give me weird looks if I asked to meet their friends. Hs cliques prevented me from making friends in high school. I just think that there are places and activities to go to and do with girls, unlike guys. I met a girl in beginning of year, but didn't really notice her til April. and I asked her to hang in June, and she was initially open to it, but plans didn't fall through. I have a pretty hard time making friends with girls AND guys. is being nice a problem? do nice guys finish last? if I can't even make friends (male OR female), how'd I go out with a social circle (want it to be guys AND girls), or get a frat formal date? My autism has made me depressed and my grades tanked. I have no money for a therapist. I find it best to make friends in an open environment, but don't get invited to parties. does college host social mixers? especially commuter campuses? My only hobbies include video games and movies, but would love to play intramural basketball/Hapkido. Does a shortage of hobbies limit friend opportunities? At orientation, I made a lot of friends (male AND female) and added them on Snapchat/Instagram. How DO I get invited to college parties? Is it advisable to cold approach a girl in university at a frat event//class/club?
Girls, how do I look (long question, bear with me)?

PROS of me
I don't smoke or drink.
will study computer science in the fall in CSUEB.
rarely party (only to hang with/make friends).
very hardworking and enjoy travel. enjoy basketball and will try martial arts!
I love video games and technology, and action, superhero, and comedy movies.
I listen to all kinds of music, whether it be Jay Z, or even popular songs.
I am always up for fun, am loyal, always smile, compliment, may put arm around you/hug/kiss you (once we're close)
Cons -
Am socially awkward
shy (once we become good friends/you get to know me, I won't shut up)
160 lbs
5foot 8
not too physically strong
am not too funny (may make a small joke here and there).
not really competitive (if another guy talks to you, I may let him have you)
am quite of a pushover
not too muscular
am a nice guy. should I stop being nice to people
take peer pressure easily
deal with depression (not around friends).


Most Helpful Girl

  • Listing being 5'8" as a con is really not accurate first of all. I'm 5'6" and I'm dating a guy who is 5'8" and the height difference is one of the best I've had in relationships and I've dated 6'0" and taller men. As long as he's taller, it's totally fine. Remember, most girls are in the 5'4" range, so don't dare to mistake us as mostly 5'9" Victoria's Secret models, because if that's your goal, it's very unrealistic.

    Secondly, I love Indian men. I'm white. The color nor the features turn me off. Indian men can get women. So just erase that from your mind altogether.

    Your weight is a number. I've learned that a long time ago and I'm 150 lbs. Am I fat? Not at all. What matters is HOW you look once you begin to care about appearances. How do you look in a mirror? That's what matters, not the number.

    "If another guy talks to you, I may let him have you." What the actual fuck! I understand that perhaps you may not be competitive in nature but this is probably the biggest fucking turn off I have ever heard of in my life. My boyfriend would not be my boyfriend to this day if he had this attitude. A "nice" guy as you would put it, would consistently wait for me when my classes ended. He didn't have the courage to walk me to my classes, he was always too pushy and conceited despite being "nice". He would let me know he was interested in me, but never asked me out directly. I would have agreed because I liked him, but after a few months of that, I got so tired and stressed from it that I distinctly remember coming to my dorm and bursting into tears in my roommate's lap because, basically, he was abusive in passive-aggressive ways towards me. I remember a rumor going around that he was going to try to drug me at a party to get at me later on because he was too scared to just ask me out. I didn't go to the party and I instead walked around campus where I bumped into a guy who totally saved me in every way. I already knew him and explained my circumstances to him. The next day he made it a point to put his arm around me and walk me to my classes and kissed me in front of the other guy, and I just remember that he was so sweet in that moment. The other guy got the hint and stopped going after me.

    You're not going to get your chance if you wait until so-and-so break off. You're not going to get your chance out of insecurity. You're not going to get your chance out of pity. Don't define yourself as "not competitive" in that way. Trust me, confidence is everything.

    • I just don't want to be in a love triangle or in a situation where me and 5 other guys have our eyes on her and think that drama free is better. and more fish in the sea. or is this not a good way to think?

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What Girls Said 2

  • How is being indian a con? Come on, there is nothing bad about it!
    You need to lose some weight, that's it.

  • Nice smile but maybe lose some weight

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