I'm really ugly and it's causing some severe anxiety and I'm about to lose my job, I can't afford theraphy but as soon as I get out of my house I get anxious and scared and dizzy I can't to to people face to face, not even males. I get called ugly day in a day out by everyone (yes this actually did happen I did not imagine it) and this happened enough times and little by little my anxiety grew to this point.
Before you answer:
- Yes looks do matter and they either make you or break you in dating
- no confidence on a ugly guy is NOT sexy
- I already work out
-Cant afford theraphy
- yes all people are shallow
Most Helpful Girl
As someone who feels I could have written this myself (except as a female) I understand how you feel. I'm kind of shocked given your profile photo, but I don't want to doubt your story. I know how it feels to talk about something you go through only to have people not believe you.
It's something I'm still trying to accept as well. I used to have anxiety as bad as yours, but I've been working on it. It's only mild now, but I still get anxious when I have to meet people. I am terrified they are going to judge me for how ugly I am.
The thing is, I got scared of the fact that I was wasting my 20s. In September I am going to be 29. Most of my 20s I spent it hiding away, or else just going to work and then just walking around at night or hiking alone during the day. I pushed any friends away that I had, and I didn't have many to begin with.
Lately though, I've realized I don't want to waste my life anymore. This summer I've been doing things that I've been wanting to do. It's hard, and sometimes I have to convince myself to do these things. It's getting easier though. I've never had a boyfriend, and that is something that really bothers me. I doubt I ever will, so instead of feeling depressed about being lonely I've just been doing everything I enjoy on my own.
The comments hurt, and I still get them but I remind myself I'll never see these people again. I have to keep reminding myself that there is more to my face. There are some people who do like me despite that, so I just focus on them and not the ones who feel the need to insult me. I basically have to take it by day.
It's hard but when I remind myself how I spent my early to mid 20s, it motivates me to get out more. I am not young anymore, and I don't want to waste my 30s. You just need to keep convincing yourself of what it more important. You have to take it by day. It's not an easy fix. You won't wake up tomorrow and want to go out and face people. You'll have to convince yourself every time, but you'll get to the point that you can do it. There was a time when I had no job and I was about to lose everything because I couldn't leave the apartment.
That's why I wish people wouldn't comment on peoples looks. They don't understand what it can do to a person. For some reason a lot of people think it's acceptable to be rude to a person just because their face isn't attractive. Then when a person (like you) brings it up, people deny it happens.2
Most Helpful Guy
Geez, whatever is tormenting you, you got to deal with it man. I don't know if you're looking for attention (i hope not) or have some kind of confidence issue but you're an above average looking dude. You're wasting your life by dwelling on stuff like this, yes there are shallow people but it's not actually that hard to meet normal people. Im an average looking dude but have dated way out of my league girls because I was personable with them and made them laugh. You can personality your way into being liked but a dude who looks fine like you but is fearful has only himself to blame. That anxiety fear should be your main goal of treatment, otherwise you'll be stuck in a negative cycle for a long time. I use to try to "cope" with issues I had but it doesn't work, it's like a fake bandaid that comes unpeeled eventually. Only thing you can do is face it head on.1