Why am I not getting responses from girls?

Im just getting back into online dating because of the months I've been away for a career upgrade. Im 26 and the photos I preveously used on the sites were a bit boring and didn't seem to be attracting anyone but i did get a few dates back then. I decided to take a new photo with my new car and dress really nice as i would if i was going out. The new photo although in my head should be working better seems to be working less. I even put it out there that im an airline pilot and fly jets for a living. I've done everything I can to try an get a date but no one initiates or responds. I had dealt with image issues and self confidence problems my whole life. I thought I was over those things but this makes me question all over again. I posted two new photos im using and want honest feedback about what is unnattractive about me. I need to fix this!! https://imgur.com/a/cJQ7H


Most Helpful Guy

  • some of the answers are spot on. as you admit you have self confidence issues and hopefully your focusing on your career was not just to one day have enough things to attract girls.

    Because the only girls you'll attract are gold diggers which actually aren't that big a margin in this day and age a lot of women can go out and afford at least a decent living on their own not that they dont still exist. but even once you meet a pretty gold digger you might not like how much emphasis they put on your success or maybe you won't mind.

    but for most girls this is going to read not only as being a douchebag but being extremely try hard even possibly verging on being corny because it's so obvious what you're doing.

    the thing is you're actually good looking enough to get lots of women without the car and nice clothes so it's even worse on you than it is on some fat guy who takes a pic in front of a nice car because it's not congruent. it doesn't make sense on you. this conveys to the girl exactly what you think is true in your head--that there's something wrong with you that is apparent to the eyes but is nontheless there and needs to be compensated for.

    so here's my advice: take a pic with your buddies, take a pic thats straigh on profile, and take a pic like you're trying to be sexy because you can actually pull it off (no homo) My personal belief is that its too much work to look into the past into what caused these self esteem issues but rather to teach yourself how to realize you're a great person and don't need anything to prove that some call it fake it till you make it, but i prefer to stay taking steps towards who you really are and are meant to be

    • Whats funny is people were telling me the old photos I had were making me look like too much of a nice guy and I reeked of commitment which was turning girls off. So I tried what they suggested.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe it's how you're approaching and messaging women that's pushing them away. Also, pictures with cars would make me a little hesitant because it seems like the guy is trying to hard to impress. I think fancy things in a pic just feels like it's a compensation for a lack of personality. However this might not be the case but it's how I personally perceive it and most women respond or don't respond based on first impression.

  • Your clothes... LIKE I don't know. That shirt.


What Guys Said 2

  • 'Online dating' - that's your problem, right there! Online dating almost always never works, especially for men, due to the skewed male-female ratio on most dating sites (lot more men than women). So, men on there need to be exceptionally good looking to 'stay ahead of the pack' and get responses. You do actually fit the bill when it comes to looks (I'm a straight male, but I can still know it when a man is good-looking).

    But then, there arises a 'different' problem. When someone as good looking as yourself tries online dating, women may wonder why you are not dating in the 'real world' with such looks, and may even suspect you of 'hiding some flaws' by resorting to online dating.

    So whatever dates you got earlier, were just exceptions, rather than the norm. Very few men actually succeed on dating sites, and it's usually not worth the efforts.

    • As a guy who has landed a girl from online dating after about a week, I disagree. I think that often, guys go to websites that are more geared towards hooking up, where as girls more often go to websites geared towards commitment.
      @Asker, if you want to get responses, go to sites like eHarmony or Match. Also, be yourself. That's the biggest rule of online dating.

    • @Nice_Guy_Last

      Eharmony and Match are both paid sites, right? I serious doubt women would actually 'pay' for dating sites, considering they usually have a lot of offline options anyway. Most female pofiles on those sites are free accounts, and it's not possible to communicate unless they have a paid subscription.

      But then again... if you managed to obtain dates from a dating site, in spite of being a guy, you're just the exception rather than the norm.

    • Or maybe paid sites are for people who are serious about finding someone, and are willing to drop money for the chance to meet someone new. That's how my girlfriend and I look at it.

  • You're bragging and trying to be too cool. It's best to have a little mystery. Let them work for information. A happy go lucky attitude will work better.