How can I learn to accept my boobs if every time I look at them I feel like there too small and are ugly? Is there anything I can do to change them?

Besides implants because that is out of the question right now. I just don't know how to accept them or to be happy with them with the way they are. I am completely convinced that they are ugly. It makes me hate the way I look and constantly feel self conscience and less then. I've read that none of the creams or pills work. Does anyone know of anything I can do to improve them?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm going to tell you something you have probably not hears from a man before:

    I strongly PREFER saggy boobs.

    I understand your feelings on your boobs. They are remarkably common among women. My thinking on this is that women associate perkiness with youth. Since youth is strongly associated with beauty, perky boobs are seen (by women) as beautiful. Whereas anything that differs from that ideal is seen to be lacking in beauty.

    Guys think differently.

    Guys like me don't look at teenaged girls as the exemplars of female beauty. We have always looked at adult women as the peak of sexy. That includes saggy boobs too.

    As far as implants go, most guys are not fans. The problem with implants is that they are often chosen for how they will look under clothes. Fake boobs look like they are in a bra even when they are not. They don't have the same fluid motion that real boobs have. No jiggle, sway, or bounce. (Pro tip: it's this motion that guys are attracted to, not so much the shape.)

    In that context, soft, saggy boobs simply have more of what I'm attracted to (jiggle, sway and bounce).

    The fact of the matter is that while guys have many different tastes, most of us prefer boobs of any size so long as they are natural. Most guys will not be bothered by saggy boobs. Some, like me, actually prefer what you already have.

    • I feel a lot better now. And now I wonder what kind of guys would tell a girl she should get a boob job because hers are ugly... I don't understand that at all. I mean mine aren't like deformed or just completely different. I've seen others like mine. There just not shaped how I would like them to be. And the way the boobs on the internet look (I mean the natural ones not the fake ones). I guess real men and mature men don't judge boobs the way women do and the way immature guys do. They think there pretty much all beautiful because they are different and y'all appreciate the variety. I wish there were more men like that. I'm sure there's a lot more then I think there are... but that guy who said I needed a boob job made me so insecure. Making me think everyone saw them like that.

    • I guess it depends on the particular corner of the internet you are looking in.

      Google search the following:

      saggy boobs tumblr

      Be amazed by the sexy women that look just like you.

    • As far as maturity goes, I've felt this way all of my life. I did not mature into it. I remember being in bed with the girl I lost my virginity to. I had a hell if a time trying to convince her that I liked her boobs (they were saggy... big surprise). She kept telling me "I know what guys like. You don't have to pretend."

      My reaction: "Hey there, [waving] I'm the naked guy here in your bed. Who are these hypothetical guys with their likes and dislikes? I'm real, I'm here. I like you. Please believe me when I say I'm happy with your boobs."

Most Helpful Girl

  • I have the same problem. I am finally a B cup, but I still want to be bigger. My 19yo sister just rubbed my nose in the fact that she had to go buy a bigger bra since she just outgrew her D cup.. she is now in a DD cup or small E. "Cassie wears training bras! You are just jealous of me coz I have big boobs and you don't and guys like me better coz you are flat chested!" The taunts have gone on for years.

    I have tried wearing padded bras and using gel inserts. It makes me look bigger and fuller, but I know they aren't real and when I am with a guy in the bedroom, he knows they aren't real and he usually leaves.

    I have talked to my obgyn a lot about this. For me, I used to be a small A cup and only weighed like 95lbs (up to 18 yo). She told me that a lot of breast tissue is fat. I worked hard to get my weight up and finally got to an average of 115 lbs for like a year. I noticed by the time i was about 20 yo, my boobs had gone up to a B cup and that is where they have stayed.

    My doctor said even if i put on more weight, my boobs probably will not get any bigger. She jokingly said aside from implants, I should wait until I get pregnant and then they will get bigger.

    Ironically, last year around April, I got prego and dint know it. I had an abortion at almost 3 months, but my doctor was right... my boobs went up to a full large C cup, but I also put on a lot of weight around my waist and hips, so i looked really pudgy. After not being prego, my boobs are back to a large B cup.

    So at this point, I am like you. The only permanent option I have is implants and right now, I cannot afford them.

    Hope this helps... you can always message me if you want a shoulder to cry on.. misery loves company..

    oh... the cure I did find was to find a man that loves me for who I am... no boobs, no hips, no butt, a sunken tummy, and skinny legs... he loves me so much and told me he does not want me changing a thing! It really has helped my self esteem having him in my life.

    He tells me he loves me at least 5 times a day. Plus, we have sex every morning (he wakes me up), sometimes twice, and then he WANTS me when he gets home at night. You don't know how this helps me to accept who and what I am and look like!

    • Omg I have no hips either. Don't even get me started on that one. And I feel like my butt is too small. A lot of guys and people have said I have a nice butt so I'm not quite as insecure about that... sometimes. But it completely sucks that we don't get to choose how our bodies look. And I hate when I hear that you have more curves when you have more estrogen. Therefore I must not have a lot of it which really does make me less of a woman. I feel like I'm more of a man. Eww... I just can't stand it

    • Email me on here... I want to talk.. you sound so much like me... we both need a friend to cry to... I know I "am supposed to be happy" that my boyfriend finds me so attractive, but it is really hard. All my gfs have nice figures and I feel like seriously, i have a 2nd Grader Figure.

      I hate the most that my hipbones stick out... sure "nice bikini bridge" when I am in a bikini, but i just hate being like this.

      I guess what got me going on a rant, was seeing Ariel Winter got a boob reduction at 15yo... OMG, i would so kill to have DD boobs. doesn't she get that her costar Sofia is like a E cup and uses it to be famous!

      Email me, coz I could use a friend who understands what I am going through... yes, i get told I have a cute butt... seriously, I am 32B, 24 waist, 33 hips.. I weigh 103 lbs today. I am a size 0 and I so hate having to go buy stuff in the girls Junior dept so many times!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • I had a think about it and thought about how you perceive your breasts so maybe it may help if you got tips to enhance how you look in clothes so I google fashion tips, here is the search page - I hope it helps

    • I can make myself look good in clothes already. And if I wear a push up bra I can look god in laungerie too. Its just when I take off the bra I want to look just as amazing as I do with it on. :( I want to know that they really are sexy, not just that they look good because of the bra or clothes I'm wearing.

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    • Super perky and perfectly shaped***

    • I don't think you will ever get the perfect natural pair of breasts yet most people love a large majority of them.

  • What is wrong with your boobs? Is there any problem other than you think they are too small? What is your bra size?

    • 34B. But when I look at them in the mirror I personally think they look kind of saggy compared to other small boobs I've seen. They have a lot of stretch marks for being so small from me gaining a little weight and then losing it and breastfeeding. I don't mind the stretch marks too much because a lot of natural boobs have them. But I feel like they look kind of deflated at the top instead of full, firm, and round. I feel like the way they are shaped makes them appear even smaller then they are. Like if I lift them up a little, they appear much rounder, fuller, perkier, bigger, and more youthful. They look good if you grab them because when you hold everything I actually have there plenty for a handful.. they just don't look that way when there just sitting there natural. Ughhh...

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    • I have a problem with what I see when I look at them AND what I think a guy sees when he looks at them. So your saying a lot of guys don't mind a little bit of sagging? Its not terrible, but there not the ideal shape. I find them to be very ugly.
      And guys have said they looked great before, even dated people who said they were perfect and nothing was wrong with them. But one person who saw them said I should get implants... not because of the saize but because of how they looked... basically he said tere ugly

    • Well, the one guy sounds like a rude jerk. Everyone else told you that they looked fine. So who do you think you should believe? Most guys don't have an ideal image of boobs that you must aspire to match. If you have two boobs and your boyfriend gets to play with them, he will be happy. Some guys actually prefer small boobs over the larger jugs, so you are worrying about something that is not vey significant.

  • me <---small boob fan. Don't worry about the size, not all guys are crazy about big boobs.

    • Its not just the size though... I feel like there ugly looking. If they were the super perky firm looking small ones I would be completely fine!! But I feel like mine look horrible.

    • They don't have to be perky or firm to be nice... You're probably worrying too much about it, boobs are fun in all shapes and sizes!

  • Dude... You don't learn to, you just do. That's what you got, period.

  • Well, posting semi-nude pictures of yourself here would probably give you the idea that at least some guys quite like the way they look ;p

    Therapy. Or a belly dance class? Or some other dance class that has some "sexy" appeal. Get used to thinking (at least some parts of) your body is awesome, and you'll be more okay with your breasts not being that cultural ideal (that's been spoon fed to you since birth).

    And seriously. Guys like boobs. Some guys like bigger boobs. Some like smaller boobs. It's okay.

    • I used to be a stripper. So in a way that made me feel sexy? But only because I got constant validation and assurance that I was wanted and that men liked looking at me. But I still never came to accept my breasts or to believe that they were beautiful or good enough. Its not just that they are small, I've seen plenty of beautiful , perfect breasts on the internet that are small and even smaller then mine. I feel like mine are just hideous. And no man could possibly think there sexy. 😢

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    • Well, there are plenty of websites where you can post pictures. "Titty Tuesday" on Tumblr (or is it Thursday) (or is it "Topless Tuesday"? Anyway, you get the idea). Etc.

      That could probably provide a constant stream of affirmation. You'd probably get some negative comments too, tho :/

      An understanding partner who genuinely likes them (or genuinely doesn't care - not all guys are attracted to boobs, you know) might make things easier.

      But maybe therapy. Because one guy telling you they're sexy once won't last, right? Do let me know if it would ;p

      (BTW, I may be getting a bit grumpy b/c I missed lunch - hope that doesn't come out here, and if it does, it's not you)

    • I'd vote dance classes over posting nudes, by the way. Better way to build self appreciation :)

  • Deep down guys like natural breast. You can start drinking more beer. Daily. Pseudo estrogens in beer.

    • Lol. I hate beer. And I don't want to gain weight everywhere else on my body. Just my breasts.

    • Hey only so many options here. I have faith you could carry a extra pound or two well

What Girls Said 3

  • Just be happy with them. What's wrong with small boobs? Let's make a list:

    There's nothing! There's nothing wrong with your breasts. They're fine. You don't need to improve them. Be proud of them because I know plenty of busty girls who would kill to have breast reductions (and can't afford them). They should be proud of theirs and you should be proud of yours.
    They're perfectly fine as they are so don't try and change them because they're already perfect.
    If it's really getting you down, don't try to keep to yourself or change them, talk to somebody about it... Because it may not be your breasts that are the problem... It may be your body confidence/self esteem that's actually getting you down! Just something to consider.
    Genuinely, your breasts are not too small. Nor are they ugly.

    • Exactly this^^

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    • So its a common thing I guess? I just have seen so many pictures of perfect beautiful breasts on the internet and they were all natural. Even very small ones that were just perfect. Mine are far from what's considered perfect. I feel like there a little saggy for how small they are. And I have stretch marks due to weight loss and then breastfeeding. And I feel like there not firm enough. I feel like I have old lady boobs at 21!!

    • They're fine. And I'm not saying it to be nice, because I'm brutally honest (most of the time). Those 'perfect natural breasts' that you see have been photo-shopped, been altered by computers and remember they're on a camera, so the lighting will have been totally artificial and altered to make them look totally different to how they naturally are! It's crazy!
      At 21, your boobs are awesome okay?

  • Honestly, don't feel bad about it. I have insecurities, but in the end, (this sounds cliche) but you are you. Shit, I wouldn't be worried about your looks. A lover will always find you looking good. Believe that.. Don't call yourself ugly, and don't go doing stuff like that. It might end up badly..

  • Anyone in this world has a different body image. Some guys like big boobs and some like small boobs. Personally I prefer small boobs. They will never get saggy and I believe that anything more than a month full is a waste. Be happy with what you have. There's a lot of guys out there that adore women with small boobs.