Am I a good looking guy? And how can I build my confidence with girls?

Now, I don't want to get too cliche here, but I'm 23 and have been a single bloke all my life. Never really been the confident type either, which has been the basis for my lack of experience with women. I've been told by my friends that I'm good-looking and that I could 'get lucky with some hot girls', but I've never been able to see through it. Despite them saying this, I don't have the guts to go and approach girls, because my confidence is as low as a casket six feet underground. I see my friends that are ugly/average looking/fat/etc. that get with amazing looking women, and yet I always have nothing but the negative feeling that girls are going to find me annoying or want to get away from me the minute I try and start a conversation. It's easy for me to talk to girls I'm not interested in and want to be friends with, but with girls I have the hots for, I become an awkward and quiet person. How am I supposed to come over this? I'd really appreciate some advice on how to build up my confidence with girls.

And also, here's a photo of me right now for you to judge as to whether or not I'm a decent looking guy or not. Note: I'm actually a redhead/ginger, but my hair has been getting a little darker in recent years. Am I a good looking guy? And how can I build my confidence with girls?

Ladies, I'm mainly asking for your opinion on my looks, and guys, I'd like to know your confidence ideas and boosters. But I'll accept anything from either.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You're good looking. Stop fretting over being single. Dating can be easier for some, but finding the right person is insanely difficult for EVERYONE.

    Watch Dan Bacon's youtube videos. You could also try Life. Defined where they actually try street approaching german girls, i thought it was funny. A bit clumsy at times, but still very proactive.

    Stop putting girls on a pedestal. Your best chance of impressing a girl is by treating her like a person, like everybody else. No matter how hot she is, she feels insecure around others, including you. Hot people like attention, but in appropriate doses. Much of the time, the attention is unsettling, like feeling like you're about to trip on the red carpet and make a fool out of yourself. Girls look stuck up when they're standing about. Yeha, im guilty of that, but its hard to smile until your face hurts, especially when you know at most, its just another boring night with the girls, and cute, but scared stiff guys who WILL NEVER approach in this lifetime. Some of us are stuck up. but many of us who give off that vibe, are merely feeling lonely, and hopeless that someone will appraoch. Honestly, my facial expression, especially around guys is usually completely dumbstruck, and awkward, like what face do i put on? don't wanna be weird. should i just have a neutral face? Yeah neutral face. Act unfazed. That way you won't feel stupid grinning in case he wasn't looking at you, but at someone behind you.

    So try empathizing instead of getting insecure, or assuming that we're all cold evil beings that will crush you. I've never rejected a guy rudely, and if she does, then avoid her - cause WE do too!!

    I can't tell you how many times I wished guys would approach and try to make us laugh, in a group. You don't have to be the cutest guy, you get a lot of props just for approaching. It gives the illusion of confidence, and it instantly makes us like, or at least respect you more. Like grab a chair flip it around, and say 'can i join you guys?' what you guys eating? that looks good. Just be a clown. Tease. Be yourself. in a group full of girls, there's a better chance that one of them thinks you're funny single, and is attracted to you. Be fair and draw out the other girls, even if ure targeting one. Besides, they might speak up for you, if one of the girls says something mean. Most girls feel that unnecessarily hurting a person's feelings, even a stranger, is really offensive.

    Get good at starting conversations waiting in

    • waiting in line*

      oh wow sorry my comment was so long.

    • Show All
    • Thanks. I'm familiar with Dan Bacon and The Modern Man. Only problem is, no matter how many times I watch his videos or try his techniques, I keep wussing out. I'm actually really shy around the girls I like, and I've even tried it out on girls that were friends and ended up having feelings for, and I would see that I've been friend zoned. I also can't really do much about my shyness. I've always been shy :\

    • That's commendable! Well, I'm sorry shyness is a problem for you. Hopefully at some point you'll get annoyed enough with yourself, to stop caring so much about results, or what people think. I'm not sure if I'm shy, but I'm really cautious and sensitive if somebody hurts my feelings. Can't say I've ever been officially rejected, but body language and them avoiding, walking away or other awkward stuff has happened for sure. *cringe. When approaching guys, there's so much adrenaline, but once I make a connection, i can relax more. I challenge my fears, and try to approach the most intimidating, or like a really hot guy that I feel super nervous around. I always feel on top afterwards, even if it didn't go smoothly. What always helps me is that I'm not trying to date them, just start a friendly conversation, maybe flirt - then if it backfires I can say I wasn't interested anyways *which is true, you don't really know if someone is compatible until you spend a lot of time with them.

Most Helpful Guy

  • you look good. Attraction is based on body language which means, as you ask, you need to built up your confidence. To boost your self confidence you need to control your emotions. You must believe in yourself and believe that you are good looking enough for the girl you want.


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What Girls Said 3

  • you are definitely good looking and tbh i'm surprised you're single however approaching women at the bar or whatever isn't always the best way to get the ladies, esp. if you suffer from confidence problems. the best way for you to get a girl would probably be to become friends with someone you're interested in but then you'll have to try to be brave and take the risk of developing it into smth more :)

  • Love your tattoo and ur yummy 😘


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What Guys Said 1

  • You are man. Just say what you want to say as long as its appropriate. Stop filtering your words and be a man. Talk to them like you are talking to a close friend.