I just got engaged to my (now) fiance last month. We aren't very far in the planning, but his best friend is a womanizer who is just itching to start planning the bachelor party. I have been to strip clubs before (with my fiance) and one time he went to one without me and I was upset about it. we made an agreement that we wouldn't go to strip clubs unless we went together.
I JUST KNOW that there is no way the best man will NOT have strippers, so I guess I'm just going to have to deal, but I have some things I'm not comfortable with.
1) no private stripper shows/strippers outside of a strip club
2) no touching the strippers/they can't touch him. no kissing, no fondling, no grinding on his dick. basically no lap dances of any kind.
3) also, this one isn't really a big deal, but one of my "bridesmaids" is my gay best friend from college. I'd sort of like him to be included in the bachelor party since he can't attend the bachelorette.
that's basically it. I've had lap dances before. they're undeniably sexual, and i would feel hugely disrespected if he was off engaging in sexual things before our wedding.
FYI my bachelorette will be a spa day, dinner at the steakhouse at the hotel, and an overnight sleepover in a guest suite. very tame.
Guys, what would your thoughts be on this?
Also, what do you think the odds are of the best man trying to coerce my fiance into doing something more? I trust him, but his best friend is a master manipulator and doesn't really believe in marriage (btw I HATE that he is the best man, but that's an issue for another day). Should i talk to the best man about it? we've known each other a long time (he's stayed with us quite a bit on our couch etc.) Or would that make me look like a controlling shrew.
Also, i would have NO problem if my fiance made requests of me for my bachelorette and set rules as well.
Do you think he'll be mad about me expecting him to not do the things that make me uncomfortable?
Most Helpful Guy
I hate to play devil's advocate but that best man is gonna try to convince him for sure. I have a relative who gets himself into this stuff and told me all the personal details. It gets real bad! If this guy's a womanizer like you said I'd say him having the party with him is just doomsday waiting to happen. There will be strippers, etc. This friend's gonna really mess things up for you. I'm not sure how you should go about it though.
I personally find it all to be insanely disrespectful and it takes the point out of marrying. The whole "This is my last chance" thing is bullshit... especially in a country were divorces are given out like peanuts.2