Would you give it a chance?

I'm in a really bad marriage. It has been awful for years. I have tried to get out many times, but had two small children to consider and nowhere to go. I became a stay at home mom when my kids were born, so I've been out of the work force for a while now. My kids are now 17 and 14. I was saving for a divorce for about a year, then my son got very sick in March. He now has ulcerative colitis and is beginning to finally show signs of improvement. My husband lost his job in May, so there went any hope of leaving any time soon. He doesn't collect enough to be able to support me and my kids very well if we were to leave him now. He is making some money under the table, on side jobs, but we all know he wouldn't have to tell the courts about this. We don't sleep together and haven't for a long, long time. It's a completely loveless marriage. I suffer from anxiety and I don't know where to turn to try to escape this mess. I'm looking for some sort of job right now. I have this guy that is very interested in me. I have seen him around for a few years, but we are only just now beginning to talk. We are planning on going out for a coffee sometime soon as he got my number from me last week. I am going to tell him my situation and ask if he will be friends for now. I really like him a lot and I want to get to know him better. He is in the middle of a divorce. My question is..."Would you give it a chance if you were him?" I can NOT be less than honest with this man because that's not me. I haven't had the chance to tell him yet because we haven't been alone and he works in a public place. Would you think I was lying if I told this story to you over coffee? How many of you would stick around and wait for the woman to try to get free? Thank you so much. I'm so afraid of losing this chance at happiness, but what can I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I am sorry to hear you are not having a great time with your marriage..that must be awful. You should really try and end it if it is really beyond any hope of repair. (but I am not saying that that is easy). So you are sure there is nothing more in this marriage?

    about the guy you met.

    well he is going through divorce at the moment so knows how you must feel. I would be 100% honest as I don't think anything else is fair...also I could not live with myself if I had to lie..

    Would you think I was lying if I told this story to you over coffee?

    - this question I don't understand...do you mean if he is lying about getting divorced?

    maybe having a good friend that is interested in you and willing to wait and support you through this will give you the push to do what you need to to get out of your marriage.

    but then there is always a danger of getting into another relationship quickly after one just ended..but I would be honest with him and just see how things go. If he is really interested in being a friend or might even want a relationship afterwards he will understand and wait...(not for years and years..but for a reasonable amount of time I would think)

    Hope it'll all work out for you


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What Guys Said 1

  • Why, specifically, is your marriage in trouble?

    Lovelessness is a symptom...


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