Really worried he's making the wrong decision. Could they really live "happily ever after"?

My cousin Paul and I are really close and Paul is going to propose to his GF soon. I'm really confused because for the first 3 years of their relationship he complained to me about how annoying she is and how he can't stand her. He used to go out with girls behind her back (he might still be doing this but I yelled at him last year about it and told him I don't want to hear about it anymore). Even though he seemed miserable, he decided to move in with her anyway last year. She IS kind of hard to deal with (she's very childish, lazy, has no manners and is socially awkward), so I don't blame him for complaining so much, but nobody understands why he stayed with her. Even after moving in with her, he had a couple of break downs where he really wanted to break up with her but would change his mind.

Now he told me he's going to propose to her this weekend. I asked him if he really thinks he's making the right decision, and when he asked me why I'm asking him this, I told him because he always seemed so miserable with her. His response was, "well you know my history with girls, I've been hurt a lot. Plus she's loyal I know she won't cheat, and she has a lot of money". I told him that being loyal means nothing, dogs are loyal, and money comes and goes. He got kind of mad at me for not supporting him or for being happy for him. So I haven't really spoken to him since, I'm trying to be happy for him. He said if it doesn't work "we'll just divorce".

I know I should mind my own business, but I'm really worried that he's going to be miserable his entire life. I'm trying my best to just be happy and excited for him but it's quite difficult.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I do not think there is much you can do for him right now except pray that they will both mature and step up to the plate after formalizing their relationship. He is likely to come back to you once the problems come back, if in fact there were problems and not just his complaining and giving you "his side of the story".

    As imperfect humans, we have to get burned to learn so if indeed this decision is not beneficial, he will soon learn this on his own.

    Let it go, as family, be there to support his decision even if you don't agree.

    Sounds to me like he played with women for a bit after getting hurt. As the girl he is with has endured this process, she has "proven herself to him" Loyalty might just be the key factor for him to commit to a relationship.

    Your best bet is hands off, patience and be forgiving when he comes back to vent (in the event he does). You already forewarned him, you are free to wash your hands of his decision.


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  • It's got nothing to do with you.


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