I have been dating my girlfriend for 4 years now, and I'm thinking of proposing to her this year on her 21st birthday, BUT her grandparents on her dad's side of the family are totally against it because I'm not the same race as her, what should do?
Most Helpful Guy
Firstly, I think it's great that you respect your girlfriend and her family so much that you are even considering the backward views of her grandparents! It's true to say that old people need a good kick up the backside sometimes but you obviously understand that some things are deep set and it takes a while to wipe the previous brainwashing of generations of culture and mis-placed tradition!
Is there any other possible reason why the grandparents are not keen on the relationship? What could you do to ensure that they feel you are the right guy for their precious granddaughter? Is there any way you could show respect for the culture of the grandparents (whatever color or religion they may be) which may soften their view?
Alternatively, is there any way you could invite them to sample your own culture in a way that might reassure them that we're all just people enjoying life together and that they should take a more progressive view?
How do your girlfriend's parents feel about it? Have you tried discussing the situation with them? If they are supportive of your relationship then this will give you great confidence and they will be able to help you tackle the grandparents.
Finally, 21 is really quite a young age for a girl to get married these days. My advice would be to take a bit more time over this and try to win everybody over before you act. I know the grandparents' views on race are plain wrong and very frustrating for you, but you will gain the moral high ground by doing everything you can to gain approval before going ahead. She's worth taking the time over. Isn't she?2