What is your opinion about a married man who has mistress in this situation?

I don't talk about a man who forgets his wife and family and leaves them for his mistress.
I'm talking about a man who loves his wife and takes care about his family and they are his first priority. Like what a good husband should be.
But she also has a mistress and this other woman also knows her place well.
In this situation do you think he is doing wrong by having a mistress?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hello, M_Boss

    Assuming you live in a society that is okay with polygamy and your spouse also approves of that relationship, I would say that there is nothing wrong with that.
    However, if something like polygamy isn't seen kindly and/or your wife doesn't like sharing, there is something terrible wrong with that. That can perhaps break your relationship with your spouse and her trust, something that isn't easily repaired. If you live in a place like the United States, that won't be seen as a good thing either by society, which can leave a bad impression for your family of you, even more your children. If your spouse doesn't know of this, doesn't approve of it, or perhaps society itself, may contradict your statement that you put your priority first in your family since you are going out of your way for a mistress by simply having her exist in your life, and that may compromise that family of yours and how you are viewed by them.
    If it is the latter, that you haven't told your spouse, and that she wouldn't approve of it, you might not be putting that much importance in your family by risking such a thing to be kept a secret and for it to exist.

    • Honesty, I have no problem with people loving whoever they want. But I am against hurting someone in the process because of one's selfish wants.
      I mean, everyone desires something, and sometimes it might not be wrong to go after it or to want it. However, sometimes you have to see the bigger picture, and see that isn't worth harming someone else for your own wants, specially your love ones.
      The question is not whether it is wrong or right, but whether if you are doing something for your greater good. If you think something like this will really be towards that of which you love the most. In this case, you say it's your family. You just have to question yourself, will this affect them at all? Will they accept it? Will this hurt them?
      It depends on what you deem is more important to you, really.

    • A good and wise answer.

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  • Personally it sounds "antiquated". I think having a mistress destroys the point of monogamy. If you're going to be monogamous then I think that should include every aspect of the relationship not just part of it. Unless you're both swingers then I don't think having a mistress is a good thing.