Waiting for the ring

My boyfriend and I were dating for about 8months when he bought me a beautiful engagement ring/bridal set last December. It doesn't have a center stone. (that is gonna cost about 3500)... Even though we aren't officially engaged I moved in with him in February (I told myself that I would not live with a man unless we were married or at least engaged). My question is how much longer should I wait for the proposal? I know its a lot of money but he has it and I am from the school of thought that if he wants to he will. I am thinking I will peace out in December if I haven't gotten the proposal... I would especially like the guys opinions here. Thanks =)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh sweetheart,

    this isn't something anyone here could, or even should, give you an answer to. I highly suggest talking to your close friends about this. So your friends friends, who is maybe friends with your boyfriend can try to peak information off of him concerning his plans for marriage...

    And what exactly do you mean by saying "i gonna peace out in December"? You mean move out of the house again? Man, this would be a huge step back on your relationship.

    Have you ever considered talking about your boyfriend to this? And I don't mean something like "When will you ask me to marry you?" or something like that more ask him in hints like "Where do you see yourself in .. three years from now on, regarding all current situations of your life?"

    An answer to that question should SURELY involve you and hopefully an "maybe were married, then" will be part of it.

    Really, I don't want to push any suggestions at all too far because IT IS YOUR MARRIAGE and your life... and in my opinion marriage isn't something which should be rushed. You are pretty young yourself so... ;) No need to rush things...

    On the other hand... what's keeping you from asking him? ;)

    I know this is not the standard way but who cares :>

    • Thanks I value your answer. I guess I am just concerned that I have been waiting. I don't want to rush or pressure him. I agree that moving out in december would be a huge step in the opposite direction. but I am 28 and not getting any younger. ha ha .he and I talk about getting married, our future goals even. I guess my deal is, why is he gun shy? the ring is an outward symbol of his commminet to me...tired of waiting....

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    • Hehe it's a good thing you are eager, just don't overdo it ;)

      He will ask you if he feels it is the right thing to do. Ans as the girls below have mentioned you are not together for such a long amount of time so lay low and wait. Just enjoy being with him for now...

      Then the next day without you even thinking about it he will ask you. You then will be so surprised and way happier than you would be if he were to suppose to you know ;)

    • I feel better already. I am gonna just lay low and forget about it for now. thanks for the advice. I will just enjoy our time together. our love is not based on a ring or paper. =)

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Love isn't about ultimatums. In December it will have been a year and eight months, right? Most people wait three or four years before getting engaged. If you really want this to work, you'll let him do it in his own time.

    Granted he bought you the set or whatever and that entitles you to bringing up the subject of marriage and to ask him about his plans. But to say that you'd walk just because he didn't ask you to marry him less than two years after you started dating kind of makes you sound more desperate for a ring and a husband and less like you really love the guy.

    Too many marriages today are based on girls who just want to have a husband and guys who felt like they owed it to their girlfriends to propose. Don't let yourself have that. Those marriages are shallow and even if they last (most don't), it isn't usually without bitterness.

    You seem like a smart girl and I don't want to make it sound like I doubt the validity of your feelings for your boyfriend but what you have to ask yourself is this: Do I love him or the ring? If it's him, you'll approach him (gently) with your concerns and you won't turn it into an argument or trying to pressure him. If it's the ring, you'll move out in December because you're "tired of waiting."

    Besides, you say you're not getting any younger? You're still in your twenties. Though if you really feel like the clock is ticking, consider this: without him you'd have to start all over. And there are VERY few guys who consider marriage as early as yours does.

    In making your decision, consider what your life without him would be like. Think of how much it would hurt you to walk away and how much you'd regret it just because you got impatient and demanded marriage (again, let me reiterate this) less than two years after you got together with him. If you think you'd feel more remorse at the loss of a potential husband than at the loss of the man you love, it's probably best that you don't marry him.

    • Thanks for the advice. this is why I like these forums. I can get the advice I need without making any rash choices. I realize that we haven't been together for very long its just that it started hot and heavy and got me excited. I will heed the cyberadvice and take it easy. I agree that up and leaving in december would be an awful choice. like you pointed out ultimatums are not what love is about. I do love him and regardless of a ring or piece of paper I will always love him. thanks again =)

  • i wish I am as eager as you to get married..my boyfriend wanted to marry me lastnight or next week he's been asking for like a year and a half now but I cannot find the way or can't look into what the future would bring..marraige just sounds good to hear but there's no togetherness and trust and all it will never work...you think you can own him once ur married no,he can't own you either..marriage is something not to be forced..dont ask him to marry you or hint him its feeling and time will come he'd mention it to you...shield yourself for the best...i cannot count how many times I've broken his feelings,when we have sex he always mention it and by nature it ruins it when I say I don't know babe...yes its true it is something that is planned about maybe ur boyfriend is thinking like I am,its not that I don't want to marry him I could marry him today but that's not what's the most important thing,its important for you guys to be well adjusted both of you not just you maybe you are well enough feeling things are great but he should be feeling as you do first...love each other and make sure you are not going to be ok when you each other that's the time to get married,so in any fight and down times you both know its going to be ok and no divorce will come along...its a piece of paper what's important you and him together..its a seal to a relationship that's all it is...

    • Thanks for your advice. I agree with your points about being well adjusted and to ensure that we can deal with many of lifes ups and downs. so far we have been blessed. I will chill out and relax. divorce is not something that I want EVER! thanks =)