What is a good compromise? ?

My marriage has been rocky.. husband is not the most romantic guy in the world.. if at all.. really.. no flowers, dinners, or lunches out as he doesn't like them he says.. he says he doesn't want nor like to sit at a bar at age 45, as he is too old.. (mind you he has guy weekends where he is doing that very thing).. he also has said he's too tired to plan these as he works all day.. he says I can plan and pay for them, (but that's not fair to me as I'm in college and have no money ).. we've been out to dinner twice all of last year.. and maybe twice the year prior.. and there's no vacation either.. hasn't been since our honeymoon... honestly. . But he always goes out for drinks with his coworkers. . Always has to travel with one young er female , first class, which I've never done, and eat alone with her, and drink with her alone but cannot with me.. goes to work happy hours that I could go to but he doesn't invite me.. and he always tells me he doesn't like doing those things, but "just has to" , and never says no he can't go, and for me to suck it up as I need to stay home with kids.. which I really dont.. they are 17 and 5.. the older one babysits.. I've been waiting since Christmas to be taken out to dinner.. still waiting. . every time he mentions a business function niw, especially a trip, I get angry. It's yet again another trip we pay for out of pocket, but I can't attend because of school and kids.. yet he doesn't show any interest in planning a trip when I can go.. I'm frustrated. . I didn't sign up to stay home literally all the time, and watch him have a social life.. (my college time is friendly. . Not social when I'm paying by the hour for a sitter.. any suggestions? ?

He tells me all the time that other wives don't act like this.. that I'm the only one. . (My response to that statement is that I agree with him that they don't give their spouses a hard time as their husbands take them out).. and or say no to drinking alone with a woman half their age..
Oh and did I mention he "HAS TO" travel first class with his 27 year old manager? She's not even exec material... while I've never been anywhere with anyone first class. He says they have to travel together as it is expected. And it's just polite to eat together on trips and have s drink or two. He's had more breakfast lunch and dinners alone and in a group along with drinks with her in two years than in my 6 year marriage. I'm not buying it


Most Helpful Girl

  • That is RIDICULOUS. That is horrible.

    You deserve better. I don't know you but no spouse deserves to be treated that way.

    Divorce is NOT easy, obviously. Im so sorry you're going through that. What a tough situation to even consider divorce. Was he always like this?

    I'd probably Change up my appearance. Spice myself up and enjoy my life away from him. Give him the same dish he is giving you. I'm sure you've discussed your feelings already? Can you afford counselling?

    I'd probably ask him if he wants to end the marriage bluntly with a soft, non-threatening tone. I'd look him in the eye and ask if all else fails.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • im sorry to hear about your troubles. it sounds like you are in a tough spot. really the only thing I can suggest is try talking to him about what is bothering you. likely won't help though... sounds like he prefers being at work to being at home which is not good. he sounds like an asshole no offense.

    • Thank you for your thoughts.. I appreciate your input.. still don't know what to do. We have had the talk about this nany times.. clearly it is still an issue..

  • do you really want opinions on this? honestly

    • Yes.. maybe I'm just being a bit ch and should let it go..

    • Show All
    • I have two kids, i work full time and i studied ontop of this on my own, so if I can do it so can you

    • well said incognito

What Girls Said 1

  • You are being played big time get yourself through college and get rid of the man.

    • As it stands.. that's my plan.. I've just had enough..

    • Show All
    • does he spend a lot of time chatting with other wives to know what they do and do not say to their husbands, cos their husbands are not going to go to work and tell the guys what their wives are saying lol, not happening

    • look it's not my place to say but you are being very niave. Read what you wrote, i mean really hard. You will see the answer yourself. You dont want to believe your thoughts that is why you are asking on here you want reassuring. Im female and I know for a fact that men won't be discussing there wives because if they had any respect for her work colleagues would be last people who hear about the wife and problems they have

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