im 27, he is 35. We have been in an exclusive and official relationship for 4 months. We had good time and shared a lot about work, family, view of life. But he seems never open for marriage topic. He said he likes and cares for me a lot but not sure im the one and not sure he loves me when i asked. He also seriously considered about a job opportunity oversea when it came. He doesn't feel happy in our town and said he was here just for short term. But he said our relationship is not a throw away stuff and let wait and see how life brings coz we have just been together for 4 months. I can't bear the feeling of uncertainty and had brought up the topic about what i want ultimately and i how i feel in tears. I also so said i wanted sometime off this relationship to think about it. he said he didn't want to hurt me but he can't give me what i want because i doesn't want a family in the next few year. He doesn't want the break up but if i can't give me the commitment then we better split according to him. We gonna have week for both of us to think about what direction we want to move this relationship to. After awhile, i dont want the break up but also dont want to burry myself in a dead-end relationship. I want to give it another 6-8 months to grow but not sure its worth my time investment. Please help
Most Helpful Girl
You haven’t even been together for have a year. Of course he’s not “ready for marriage” with you! He’s barely had enough life experience with you to decide he would want to build his life around you! Sorry girl, but you are not being realistic. He probably doesn’t love you because IT’S ONLY BEEN FOUR MONTHS. You seem like you are moving waaaaay too fast emotionally. Don’t rush him or pressure him to make big moves that logically and intelligently , people shouldn’t make until they have been with someone for ONE YEAR MINIMUM. You’re being overly emotional and very pushy with him.
No offense, but I can see why he broke up with you because you were pressuring him to love you, make a family with you, and leave the town with you when your relationship had barely evolved to those serious stages! That’s a lot of pressure and stress! You sound like you either have self-esteem or intimacy issues if you honestly believe that a four month relationship is a ‘dead-end relationship’ because the guy doesn’t want to marry you : / My advice to you is that you be more realistic about the lengthy process it takes for these things to manifest. No well-rounded man is going to want to marry you and have kids with you after just four months. That’s kinda redflaggish.1