I opened Pandoras box, now I can't stop! Am I alone?

I really hate my relationship and although I have expressed this w my spouse and its pretty mutual we never split up. Love, respect, caring, affection is dead. Due to us basically being roommates I have been looking for affection else where. Its something I'm not proud of but its something that has become natural now. With 7 billion people on this earth, am I alone in this?? Any advice or personal experience that can help?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You're just a slut it's easy to dump someone

    • I already insult myself. I thought I would be easy too but every time it gets more violent and difficult.

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What Guys Said 2

  • A loveless marriage is hard, and yes many look outside the home for release. As long as all parties are ok with it whose business is it but yours?

    Now I have seen or heard of a number of situations like yours and they generally fall into three categories.

    She plays, he remains celibate sometimes do to enforced chastity. This is a classic femdom relationship.

    Both of you play, you insist on meeting the others or at least knowing who they are to avoid those weird social situations

    Both play and hide it from the partner, in essence you both are cheating on each other.

    Different situations have different rules. If you are in the last one, you may want to consider shifting to the second one.

    I've usually been the other guy so I have seen it from first hand experience

  • You need to do what is best for you. I recommend getting out of the relationship. Painful but in the long run much better. If this is not an option then I see no reason why you can't find someone to help with the intimacy


What Girls Said 1

  • Talk again with your spouse and try to solve your problems.. Find out what's wrong and ways you can solve it. If you don't think your relationship can be fixed, it's better to break up for both's sake. Even if many people cheat, it does not mean it ok.

    • I've nvr met a man like him. He's a narcissist. His philosophy is"don't fix something that's not broken" regardless of my telling him what we should fix or going to therapy. He would rather us ignore each other all the time. Its pretty complicated I guess.

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    • Definitely. To no avail of course. I think either one of us is interested in each other. I guess were "comfortable" in a sense or we don't want to deal w the mess of splitting up. Kids, a house and all. Plus I make good money so he gets taken care of.

    • Tell him you are willing to find a solution and that he should do the same, if he wants your marriage to last. That you are not satisfied because he ignores your problems.