Is being someones 1st Sexual Partner more Rare/Important than Marriage?

Since everybody gets married and only few of us get to be someones first sexual partner, that means Marriage means less than a past GF/BF V-card. That is why I feel like my girlfriend is ripping me off. Her Ex gets a virgin and i get the leftovers for 60 years. Her Ex gets bragging righs for the next 60 years. Am i wrong here?

My girlfriend wants to marry me after college a few years down the road. She says she loves me More than her Ex boyfriend but I Shouldn't believe it because she made him the first sexual partner and not me. I'm not her first sexual partner and that pisses me off. That is because being a Girls 1st sexual partner is more rare than getting married. Everybody eventally gets married because they stop being shallow. Very few of us get to become the 1st.

I've done a variety of sexual things with 8 girls between high school and middle school before her. We never met before we started dating. I was dating another girl whil she was dating her Ex boyfriend.

How do i get rid of these internal feelings of disappointment for her?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The answer to your question is a big fat NO. Virginity isn't worth the shit that it's printed on. It might be rare to be someone's first sexual partner, but that alone means nothing. Get that ! It means zilch.
    Your first sexual experience is very unlikely to be the best one, and it always gets better. That even applies to a new partner who's experienced, and if you're both experienced. If you can bang her better than anyone else ever did and she wants to be with you instead of them, that's all that counts.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Choosing to spend your life with someone is a way bigger deal than choosing to do something for the first time. You are comparing a brief act with the intertwining of two lives. Not even close to being on the same level.

    Also, it's ridiculously immature to be so hung up on virginity. Almost everyone has sex. Not everyone chooses to get married.

    • Everybody I know over the age 25 in my life is married! Everybody I know over 30 has been married at some point in their life. If everybody is doing it, then is not rare, and not special. See what I mean?

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    • Hateful and bitter until I find the perfect and ideal girl in my head. She is supposed to be perfect but is not. She loves me more than that guy but that is not enough. She regrets it but regret won't take back what she did. She will never find a way to make it right.

    • Perfect people don't exist. If you can't love a person for who they are then you aren't emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship. Breakup and let her find a much better person that will love her as a human being and not a trophy to collect.

  • Anyone who thinks a girl who has had sex before is "leftovers" is not looking at the girl as a valuable person but as an object. Don't try to date until you can start seeing women as people and not some kind of prize.

    • But why do we have to settle for less than perfect and make a long term commitment to them? I like to eat pussy but I don't want to do it anymore because a penis was in my girlfriend at one point in time.

    • A girl is not any less perfect because she had a penis inside her. Grow up. Yes being someone's first is exciting, but that's because it's a very intimate experience, not because you get to effing mark your territory.

    • Well the ex boyfriend gets go talk shit about my girlfriend and gets to think about her anytime he wants because he got her naked. Its not good feeling that someone else out there has seen her naked.

What Guys Said 5

  • This is a question I asked myself a while back, and even confronted my then-girlfriend about, many months ago. To say the least, she wasn't too happy about the fact that I was harping on something she had no control over. She'd been with several other guys in intimate ways before me, and I somehow felt that the first guy she was with somehow held her virginity over my head, like a trophy. However, in her case, the first couple of times were either "meh" or "terrible."

    The answer you want to hear is "yes, she should be a virgin, so that you can be the first guy she's been with." Does that sound desirable? Yes. Does it sound rather unrealistic? Quite. After we broke-up, I had a strong urge to screw other girls, but I'm not the kind of guy who easily finds himself in that situation. (I did eventually have sex with my ex-girlfriend, after we broke-up--it was a messy break-up--and even though she still made reference to other guys, she said her encounter with me was most meaningful and that she felt like she "lost" it to me. I was a virgin when I lost mine, though). Looking back on it now, I'm sort of glad I couldn't easily sleep with other girls so easily.

    Would I have sex with a girl, just to be with the first guy she's been with? Not unless I got to know her first and it actually meant something. Anyone can be a girl's first, but not just anyone can be the first the guy she gives it to. Realize that making her actually feel wanted and loved during the act makes sex with you infinitely more desirable than otherwise.

    If I sleep with a girl and I take her virginity, but she sleeps with other men afterwards, our encounter really doesn't mean anything. I may be the first guy she banged, but I'm "just another guy." Yes, she'll remember the first time she had sex with a guy (one of them, at least), but it probably won't be as memorable as meaningful sex. Don't be the douche that bangs a girl, just to brag about it; that is vile and disgusting.

    • I like this statement "but she sleeps with other men afterwards, our encounter really doesn't mean anything." That is probably the best and most realistic statement I've read. Thanks.

      That statement makes me feel like she wants me to be her Last with no other guys after me for the rest of her life. Most people want to be the Last. I think i want to be her Last too. I want her to be my last.

      Also, I was in the wrong frame of mind, she is not my first. I am complaining that another guy was there before me and therefore she chose him over me. But the reality is that I've had 8 sexual partners before her and therefore I chose 8 other girls over her. I'm never going to complain again.

    • I'm glad I was able to provide you some clarity.

  • "I've done a variety of sexual things with 8 girls between high school and middle school before her"

    shut the fuck up.

    • I've stuck my thing in a 8 mouths and no pussies until I dated my girlfriend. She is worse than me.

  • Lol at "since everybody gets married..."

    But I think marriage is obviously more important than you first lay.

    • Why so?

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    • You can do anything you want, but don't be surprised if people think you are a worthless human being, they wouldn't be far off.

    • That's what i have been doing. But I don't see why this is bad. Why be alone if you don't have to?

  • Damn it, you again? Did you not ask this same question yesterday? And half a dozen other times before that?

    Face it, you're practicing a double-standard. After sticking your thing in eight different women you have no right to demand a virgin to marry - you have already failed to honor her in the way you expect to be "honored."

    The woman you plan to marry should be more to you than a walking hymen. Get over yourself.

    • I've stuck my thing in a 8 mouths and no pussies until I dated my girlfriend. She is worse than me.

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    • She know about my sexual past and is ok with it.

    • Good. Glad you respect her enough for that. In past threads you said you'd lie about it and thought nothing of doing so.

  • Wow don't you sound like a whiney insecure, jealous little bish lol. Grow up.

    • Does growing up entail accepting another mans leftovers without complaint? Why do you like leftovers?

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    • Ugh, Asker... you disgust me. This girl does not deserve YOU, make no mistake about it, it is not the other way around.

      +1 @Dansexuall I am also poly. What an enlightening experience.

    • Ok, go be an Eskimo Brother. Sick!