Should I marry this man?

I am in serious relationship for 5 years now. Both in our mid twenties and he proposed me. All my emotions belong to him, and always will. We have very good communication and get along very well .He is a true intellectual. But...

In this relationship all responsibility is on me. I work for both of us, I found us an apartment I initiate sex, make all the big decisions, I pay him clothes, take him to vacations,pay the bills, pay for the gas... He applied for 2 universities in period of 4 years and gave up on studying both times. He has had only one short term job. These are only examples.

Whenever I ask him for opinion(for something small or big) he is like: Whatever you like honey; you decide; do what you think is the best honey....

Should I take the next step - marrige? I feel lost...


Most Helpful Girl

  • Only you can decide the answer to your question. But given the background you've provided, ask yourself some of the following:

    What does he do for you? (For e. g. makes you feel great, makes you laugh, makes you happy, cooks a nicer dinner every now and again).
    What does he bring to the table? (For e. g. loyalty, dedication, honesty, integrity, decency, virtues, morals, cash for bills)
    Can you imagine the future with or without him?
    Do you like his family/friends?
    Does he have interests outside of you/the relationship?
    What does he say about his future goals?
    Do your views align on marriage, babies, home life, family, money, trust, etc?
    Do you want to have children with him?
    Do you want to be his wife and bear his name?
    Can you imagine him being more financially stable in the future?

    There are so many factors to consider when thinking about marriage and all you've done is list the things he takes or gets from you.

    He may have a wonderful intellect but he doesn't use it to bring in cash; you may have great communication but not enough to spur him into action to get a job; you may get along well but not enough for you to consider not marrying him.

    I think we could possibly debate this question over and over again.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Does he have a JOB?
    What will he do to support the relationship?
    Ok, its the 21st centery, and you run the house.
    So can you live with a boy who is not a man?
    I have no problem with you running the finances. My mother ran them, and i run them now. Its just who is stronger in what.
    The question is simple, do you want to support him? Or do you want a man to support you?
    If you are going to support him, then make sure he knows this. You will run the family. You will be incharge.
    Can he live with this? Is this what you want?

  • i don't think we should be making this decision but the fact that you have so many issues (that are legit) it sounds to me like getting married at this point would be dangerous as you guys sound like you need to work on some things in the relationship.

    so no I wouldn't suggest getting married... but again please don't make your decision purely based on the answers here

  • I think it's risky, if you're carrying all the load and even supporting him financially.
    He has a long way to go at making decisions for himself and becoming self sufficient. Wait until he can show some improvement, and act like an adult man instead of just a dreamer.
    Down the track, there are bound to be times when you'll need to rely on him to support you and make decisions. He may not be up to it, when it's his turn.

  • Well I'm not gonna tell you to marry him or not but you have to understand that a woman can't carry all of the responsibility on her shoulders and it's a man's duty to spend money on himself and his wife so you have to think about it on the long term


What Girls Said 1

  • You need to think some more, it's a big decision, and you still have questions that need answers.