My husband is lying to me, complaining about me and putting me down?

in the last 6 months my husband has started complaining about me to a couple of his friends, I only know because I snooped on his messages and saw it. He's also started talking about other women and things he used to do before we met - we've been together for 14yrs and I'm just getting the feeling he's over it, I have asked him more than once if he's happy and he says yes BUT from the things he says I don't think he is! I've tried catching him out with things that he's said in messages to his friend but I always get the lies, even for stuff that doesn't involve me. He lies about everything and has done so from the beginning but I guess now I'm starting to wonder why, on the odd occasion I've caught him lying he says he lied because he knew I'd get shitty, well and truly over that excuse! he's changed passwords so I can't access things anymore too

Just thought I should add that my ex husband was also a liar and a cheat, he is now with my ex sister in law - the person with whom he cheated on me! So my current husband knows all if this and knows what I went through with all the lying and sneakiness, I ended up going through a few years of panic attacks, depression and all the crap that goes with it... I never expected to have to deal with all this again. Last time I had it out with him I was the one who ended up apologising for snooping :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well its him being shitty.
    You know how to exactly quit that attitude and value u again.

    By you doing almost the same thing, its only how He ll understand, coz talking and working on the relationship works when both agree to actually improve things, and he seems very confident in whatever he thinks and won't listen much.

    Even you remember who you were, be that person again, Don't care much.
    Ignore him, Guys will know when ignored and take it as rejection and work his way to win u again.

    Move out with ur friends , just make ur personal life look very charming and complete without him.

    he ll realise that its not u but him who is at lose and remember that having you was the best thing in his life. Its childish of him at this age and deal with it that way only.

    • exactly make him quit*

    • I've tried but I always cave in and he gets away with it all

    • There just 2 ways to go about:
      Anyhow if you still wana try Then say things like :
      1) Me being ur wife , am not as close as your friends?
      2) Why did you marry me in the first place?
      3) I can't believe that after 14 years you decide that ur not happy with me.
      4) at least have the courtesy to tell me what it is that we have gotten to this point and please do not answer with everything is fine!
      5) And if its just over then have the balls to end it completely and stop playing house with me.

      Or otherwise you should just give him his own medicine and treat him the same way, Do not cave in , you can cave in when you continue to hope that things will be alright and back to how they were and that you want his affection...
      For your own good you need to take a decision that his affection would be the last thing you want and do not need him for that. Do ur own thing , Take the decision that its over and act accordingly. Hopefully he ll realise when u drive away form him.

      Or you just continue this

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What Guys Said 3

  • He is clearly done with you... You need to leave him now... and if he is changing passwords that means he is already cheating on you... Don't stay with him.. You are just hurting yourself...😐

  • Your husband sucks. You need a real man.

  • Sometimes people bitch about people they love just to bitch. It's wrong but it's true.

    Not excusing his behavior, just saying it's not necessarily the beginning of the end.

    • Totally understand that but as far as I know this is a recent thing, within the past 6 months id guess

What Girls Said 2

  • wow who did u marry?

    • That's exactly how I'm feeling, I don't know who he is anymore :(

    • I feel really bad... I knew a 35 year old man like that... he alway complain about his wife cheating and wanting too much sex and blah blah...

    • yeah they got a divorce.

  • Divorce his ass.!