My wife does not get along with my parents. Any advice as to how to handle the situation?

I'm in a bit of a cliche situation. My wife does not get along with my parents (shocker) but I was thinking of visiting them this summer so I asked my kids about it. No plans just asking how they felt. She caught wind of it from my daughter and blew up at me saying I lied cause I didn't ask her.
WTF. These are the facts. What do you think? Any
advice as to how to handle the situation?

Ladies thank you. Thought I know I was right I do see that I should have at least said something to her first. I did sleep on the couch just to give her space so we would not say things we may regret. She is a bit of a control freak lol. But I let run things cause it calms her l. It's just sometimes she goes a bit to far with the kids and I have to step in. I know she means we'll but I don't think she will ever see my side. Thanks again ladies. Don't know ya but I like this site.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You are in the right. You didn't do anything wrong. You know it, i know it and pretty much the whole world knows it.
    Here's the thing though, you also know that your wife has problems with your parents. It's a sensitive issue for her and it will undoubtedly cloud her judgment in anything involving them. By mentioning it to your kids even if just in passing, before mentioning it to her she probably felt like she was being outnumbered or that her feelings were being ignored. So she reacted irrationally and badly. She's only human, and we all mess up.

    I'm not saying she's right, just to put yourself in her shoes. I'd make sure to tell her that you didn't do it intentionally to upset her, and that it upsets you to think that she would assume the worst of you.

    Please take this all with a grain of salt, I'm not married, I'm basing my advice on a very similar and common scenario played out between my parents when I was a kid and from a kids perspective the situation just seemed like i had two immature and stubborn parents. Again, from a kids perspective and someone who still isn't married.


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What Girls Said 2

  • She's probably annoyed that you talked to the children about it before you asked the other adult in the house about it. While you didn't *lie* you omitted her from a really important decision making process. She shouldn't have "blown up" but you also should talk to her about trips like that before the kids.

    Apologize and explain your reasoning then see how things go from there. You and your children all have the right to visit your parents even if she can't behave like an adult and get along.

    Don't use the adult issue though XD Instant argument XD

  • She sounds like a control freak. Does she not let you visit them at all? You have a right to visit your family and your kids have a right to see their grandparents. She is probably annoyed because she thinks you will use the kids to talk her into going. Whenever you arrange to see them, ask her first if she is keen to go. If not, tell her you will go and ask if she is ok if you invite the kids to come. She might just say yes but if she says no then tell her that they have a right to see their grandparents and maybe it would be good for her to have a weekend away from the kids so she can do what she wants.