Girls, this question is for single mothers with children?

Obviously, you have a duty to raise your children and get them ready to face the world on their own. You probably want to date a man who understands your obligations to your children and would never even consider anything that would interfere with your parental resonsibilities, but. . . when your chidren are grown and living on their own, do you think they should always be a higher priority than your husband? I'm not talking about a child who has an emergency and needs help. I'm talking about things like: you make plans to meet your husband for dinner but cancel at the last minute because your son asks if you can babysit his kids and he never bothers to plan and ask about these things in advance. If you think your children should always be a higher priority, would you feel okay if you husband made you the fourth prority in his life, maybe behind his work and friends and his family? Obviously, this is not a hypothetical question; it is why I am currently divorced.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I am a single mother and raising my two children on my own. They are both still young, ages 7 and 5. However, at this rate, I am still thinking about how I am gonna be when I grow old and they have their own family. Since I cannot rely on them to take care of me I would love it to have someone beside me and grow old with me. In addition, I expect my children to give me that freedom too. Thinking that I have raised them well, they would be able to take care of themselves and would not ask me favors such as baby sitting their children, most especially that I had made plans. Don't get me wrong, I would baby sit my grand kids but must be noted in advance. However, if the reason is valid and was caught up in a bad circumstance, such as cannot find a baby sitter for a certain day no matter how hard he tried looking for one, then I might consider that as well (provided that its not about he's going out to have some fun for himself)

    • Yes, emergencies happen and you need to make allowance for exceptional circumstances, but do you understand the problem. My ex placed me at #6 on her list, because she has 3 kids and 2 grandkids, but she wanted to be #1 on my list. Does that sound fair?

    • well that's not fair. She can't expect you to prioritize her when she can't do the same for you, she should not expect that you would do that same for her. Moreso, if you were trying to understand her, she should do that as well for your relationship to work. Mutual understanding should have been in between your relationship so that she would not expect anything else that you cannot provide her and vice versa.

    • She thought I was being totally unreasonable for not understanding her position. The problem was. . . I did understand it. It's nice to hear another woman understand my side of what went wrong. Thanks!

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What Girls Said 2

  • Personally, my child would always come first. I don't think any significant other should be prioritized as being behind a career, friends, or anyone else. Children are a little different. I'd want someone who loved my children as well.

  • My child will always come first. I will probably end up single forever but oh well