Weakness for my woman, need help?

Here is the situation I have beeen in love with this girl ever since I was 19 she is my soul mate.
I`m a virgin and waiting to lose it to her.
Problem is she is religious and so is her family background, and in order to express my love intimately I need to be married to her.
Getting married and support her and a family is not viable for me, I hold a respectable white collar job.
I already support my parents and pay the mortgage which is expensive and bills for them since they are poor.
I`m having a dillema and don`t know what to do.
What are your options for me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You should not marry someone just to have sex with them. Marry someone because they are your friend and you don't want to spend a day without them. Trust me, I have been married for 5 years now. The sex will get less exciting and when that happens you need something to talk about.

    Also a wife is not a burden. She can help you by getting a job or taking care of the house or your parents. (I hold a full time job and am a caregiver to my husbands mother who is recovering from stage 3 breast cancer. I happily do this because we are a team.)

    A marriage should be a partnership not a trade or a burden.

    • yes you are right but she is my soulmate I`m not in it for just the sex, but she working would not be sufficient for us to get a mortgage for our self since the monthly payments are about $3000 per month for a place of our own. And not considering other bills as well.

    • Well that right there my friend is called life. I understand your situation. Honestly I do. I met my husband when I was 21 and he was 31. We did not have sex until after we were married and my mother and father in law moved in with me and my husband in our first year of marriage. We have sex in the house even when they are home. You learn to be quite and do it at appropriate times as you would if you had children. It's awkward at first, but if they want grandchildren... well there is only one way of getting that. Sex is natural and should not be shamed between a married couple.
      So coming from someone who is married and living in the same house as her husbands parents, it works out fine.
      Also her working is better than nothing at all, it may not be enough to get you a house, but its enough to get a hotel room a couple times a month for privacy. If you really love each other you find a way to make it work despite the circumstances. That's life, you make the best of what you are dealt.

    • I guess you are right and giving the circumstances that would be the best option to move forward in the relationship. Yes I agree it would be awkward having sex when my parents are at home, since I can`t even bear kissing her in front of them. I`m getting older and don`t want to wait to be with her. She working would be appreciated since that would unload a great deal of pressure from me.
      We would have to give up the permanent privacy that a place of our own would give us, but thats life.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Does she have a job? Because if not, who supports her? There is no law that says that you need to support her when you marry her. A marriage is supposed to be a joint effort. I mean I know the man may traditionally and more commonly be the one to support his wife, rather then the other way around. But if she really loves you as well she will see that you two need to help each other because you're a team now that you two are married.

    Also, make sure that you are marrying her just for love not for lust. If you do really love her and you are completely ready to marry and start a family with her then go ahead. But, if you are just wanting to marry her because that would mean you would get to sleep with her, then that can wait.

    • I`m marrying for love

  • If you do want to marry her (because of love not because of sex)! then you can go ahead and do it. In a good relationship you do have to communicate about money. Explain that your taking care of your parents and that you think you should both work. Just because you get married doesn't mean you need to make babies straight away, you can wait to buy a house and have kids.

    • she knows of my money issues

    • Then once again talk about it. Tell her that if your married ( or that when your married) finances are tight and that you can't do everything (financially) alone and that you'd like her help

    • her help wouldn`t be so beneficial to give us financial independence

What Guys Said 2

  • Wait, why you think she is a liability?
    If you two getting married that means she can back you up.
    So don't worry about money, you love each other, that's the most important.

    In Fengshui (believe it or not) true love marriage can bring great luck and confidence in men.

    • marriage strengthens your back and forces you to be more ruff

  • You pay your parent mortgage and bills? Stop that For starters, if they want to be supported by you they can do so under your roof and on your terms.. and where there is a will there's a way, it's just that your not willing to sacrifice other things to marry her and support her

    • I already sacrifice my time and money i don`t go out and have fun because it is so tight money wise.
      And I can`t abounden my parents

    • Show All
    • I`m not ashamed of her far from it. My parents respect my decisions and the problem is not that they interfere in our relationship. I meant as in if me and my SO are going at it in night and she "screams" you know during intimacy and things like that, my parents would overhear us and when we just want some alone time.

    • So if you can't have sex before marriage how do you know she screams? Even if she did and your parents did hear, there is nothing to be ashamed of- she would be your wife. Sexual intimacy with between a husband and wife should be celebrated.