ok my mom hates i mean HATES my fiance doesn't. ever want to see him ever again and i truly understand and respect that but now its been a whole year!.. last year jan 6, 2014 my boyfriend hit me in my moms garage it took me forever to forgive him (3months) i honestly took him back because i loved him and knew he was truly sorry and i couldn't let him go over a slap... we decided not to live with eachother anymore & go to counsling may 6, 2014 he asked to marry me i said yes...3months later Aug 15, 2014 i tell my mom she says she wouldn't come to the wedding i then got hurt by it... i want her to be there to support me... she said i personally dont like him he's retarde, ugly abusive, and not fit for you first off my fiance is not abusive he never hit me again we dont even argue... i swear we are perfect for eachother, he does have a learning disability, and also suffer from dyslexia... but i love him for who he is he's perfect in my eyes but my mom see him as a monster... i definitely understand why... but its hurts how can i show her he's a changed man and to accept him? because he will soon be my husband this year and i really need her there she said he's going to kill me one day and feel sorry for me and beg me to leave but thats not happing i feel if my mom dont go to my wedding then i dont want to get married... should i get maried or not?
Most Helpful Guy
Ok, to make things simple, you and your mother have different evaluations for that same person, and argue about weather he is a good man to be your husband or not (this post assumes you made very good evaluation and you are not pressured emotionally nor mentally).
Your mother feels responsible as she had more experience in live and would go all the way to help you (in her view). Here are my suggestions and you try to work from there:
- Try to not to persuade her from her judgment but listen for what she has to say, because may be she IS right.
- Inform your fiance about the situation and let him try to make a better picture of himself.
- Ask the help of a trusty person to your mom "Father, uncle, Aunt , close friend... etc) and explain the situation to him/her. (Please do NOT inform too many people and let it only for a closed selected view)
- Unless he is an exceptional man and you feel he will improve your live + your mother is not reasonable: "DO NOT" go for the option where you marry him no matter what and "THEN" try to fix things with your mother.1