Should I marry him?

ok my mom hates i mean HATES my fiance doesn't. ever want to see him ever again and i truly understand and respect that but now its been a whole year!.. last year jan 6, 2014 my boyfriend hit me in my moms garage it took me forever to forgive him (3months) i honestly took him back because i loved him and knew he was truly sorry and i couldn't let him go over a slap... we decided not to live with eachother anymore & go to counsling may 6, 2014 he asked to marry me i said yes...3months later Aug 15, 2014 i tell my mom she says she wouldn't come to the wedding i then got hurt by it... i want her to be there to support me... she said i personally dont like him he's retarde, ugly abusive, and not fit for you first off my fiance is not abusive he never hit me again we dont even argue... i swear we are perfect for eachother, he does have a learning disability, and also suffer from dyslexia... but i love him for who he is he's perfect in my eyes but my mom see him as a monster... i definitely understand why... but its hurts how can i show her he's a changed man and to accept him? because he will soon be my husband this year and i really need her there she said he's going to kill me one day and feel sorry for me and beg me to leave but thats not happing i feel if my mom dont go to my wedding then i dont want to get married... should i get maried or not?

No i came looking for opinions... and at the end of the day he's not a bad person and your advice or opinion is worthless goodbye 👎


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok, to make things simple, you and your mother have different evaluations for that same person, and argue about weather he is a good man to be your husband or not (this post assumes you made very good evaluation and you are not pressured emotionally nor mentally).
    Your mother feels responsible as she had more experience in live and would go all the way to help you (in her view). Here are my suggestions and you try to work from there:
    - Try to not to persuade her from her judgment but listen for what she has to say, because may be she IS right.
    - Inform your fiance about the situation and let him try to make a better picture of himself.
    - Ask the help of a trusty person to your mom "Father, uncle, Aunt , close friend... etc) and explain the situation to him/her. (Please do NOT inform too many people and let it only for a closed selected view)
    - Unless he is an exceptional man and you feel he will improve your live + your mother is not reasonable: "DO NOT" go for the option where you marry him no matter what and "THEN" try to fix things with your mother.

    • Thankyou... only my sister, my mom and a couple of friends know about my situaition but my friends wants to see me happy and i am but my mom dont... the rest of my family wants to meet him she didn't tell my family what he did. but she holds a grudge against him, i dont care if she doesn't like him i just want her to come to the wedding for my happiness i set in all her weddings 😑

    • by the way, you do not have explain or report what you did, have done or will do to me (or anyone online for that matter).
      Those are just suggestions of what I could understand of the information you gave me. I trust you consider this site as a place for other opinions, possible explanations and ideas.
      The final call is yours.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Your mom wants the best for you and probably loves you more than anyone ever could. You should not brush off her advice.

    • im taking it all in and respecting her opinion but she should come to my wedding for (me) i dont see my myself being with nobody else...

  • Couples argue that's a part of being a couple. If you aren't having arguments at least every once in awhile then someone is just giving up their will for the other person which is not a good thing. And if you haven't had an argument since then that means he hasn't proven to be a different person. The reason he hasn't hit you again is because the opportunity for him to lose his cool hasn't occurred. I'm on your moms side on this one.

    • u can't judge someone of what they did in the heat of the moment when thier mad and yes he was definitly wrong and it took time for me to fogive him i look at him for who he is and he's always been good to me people call these excuses but every person I've talked to haven't been through this and if it ever happend again ill learn from it then move on instantly. Marrying him is something i want to do but my mom is being so stubborn she can at least support me she know i love this man and that im happy with him her relationships never been perfect... the one she's in now is not perfect and i dont like him because he called her a B#tch but when i say i dont like himshe cry and argues with me and try to force me to like him... i know i can't make her come i just dont know what to do 😞

    • oh yes I can because I've been in the heat of the moment multiple times and I came out of it without touching the girl. It did not take you awhile to forgive him 3 months is nothing. and he proposed to you only 2 months after that? Red flag after red flag is just popping up. It doesn't matter though. You didn't come here looking for advice you came hoping someone would just tell you marrying him is the right choice.

    • read my update

  • "my boyfriend hit me in my moms garage it took me forever to forgive him (3months)"

    That was way too quick of a forgiveness if you tell me.

    • I was thinking the same thing.

    • yeah its because i loved him and became depressed without him i also believed in him aswell... i didn't want to judge him for what he did because overall he's a great person and if this ever happend again... there would be no forgiving or taking him back.

    • i just have great heart

  • Listen u have to live with him not ur mother so go right ahead and marry him and explain to ur mom that u will be hurt if she doesn't go but ur still having it


What Girls Said 1