Your views on marrying someone very poor while you're middle class? pls no teens or young people answering with cliches?

pls have some expeirence or what youve heard. love dont pay the bills and lifes not a fairytale


Most Helpful Girl

  • So sounds like you're a middle class guy marrying a very poor person. And you care about your financial situation. AND you're sensitive about it. Which is exactly why this question has even come to your mind. It's probably not the first time, and it won't be the last.
    Don't do it. You'll ruin both your lives.
    I would guess (hopefully I'm not right) that you have some underlying issues. I would suggest counseling, except that guys usually hate it.
    If you were a rich person marrying a middle class, AND you weren't sensitive about money (some extra rich people are), I would say go ahead, it was low risk and there wouldn't be anything you couldn't solve.
    Life is hard. Human desires are limitless. Don't joke with yourself and someone else's life. Your parents are still dependant on you financially. You only get one chance to live a full, happy, long, and comfortable and enjoyable life.
    Technically I think your finances won't be able to stretch far enough.
    It would be better if you married someone equally rich at the very least. I'm sure you could both find other partners with whom you would be equally happy, yet be a better financial fit. She would need someone who's at least financially confident and comfortable.
    Finances are no joke. Life can throw you just one curved ball. We get old sooner than we expect. Our energy and patience is depleted. Economy crashes. Healthcare is super expensive.
    Don't abandon each other. Help each other find a better match.
    Be wise.
    P. S. If you absolutely can't be torn apart, then go ahead and do it.
    Still I recommend counseling, or at least see a financial advisor before you do anything. Take responsibility for your relationship starting right now. Make a financial plan for your life, supposing you are married. It will be a good exercise to help you prepare for your future life.
    If your relationship is strong enough to support such discussions, you'll have a better chance at marital bliss. If it's not,,, then...


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What Girls Said 9

  • I might be too young for you to answer, but the reason why he's poor is more important for me. Is it because he had no education and so couldn't get a proper job? Or does he come from a poor background? Because I think education is important. People are probably going to hate on me for this, but I do think education is an indicator for intelligence and stability. That's for me important.
    It's also important what kind of person he is. I'm from a quite wealthy family with my dad as a successful lawyer and editor for a law magazine and my mom as a family doctor and what I've noticed is that people prejudge me and my parents as being lazy and spoiled and constantly blame success on my background. I can't live with someone who thinks like that.

    • yyoure right. poor people can live like well off people with education. also, educated people can see problems and where they can assert themselves while the uneducated do not understand what is pulling the strings. oh nice, i m also considering law school if my career won't pay off to well. i hear you. I've dated richer girls before and i find them often more pleasing to be around since they had a good self esteem... poor can be shady and hateful and i get it... but people who have a balance who live well ordered lives often are more stable emotinoally etc ,

    • Yeah I totally agree.
      Cool, which sector do you think is interesting? My dad does divorce and child rights (I hope I say that right in English).
      I find that poor people can be very bitter, because of their failures and blame it on people who do have success in life, even though those people have worked hard for it.

  • I think it would be fine at first, but after a while I think there might be some resentment if you're pretty much having to take care of your partner. I wouldn't wanna be working my ass off to pay for everything and him just not help at all.

  • That would mean I won't live comfortably and ill have to struggle more. Staying poor forever is not healthy. Do I want to live a short life and die of illness? Hell fucken no.

    • its true poor people are more sicker and age faster. not to mention the poor quality of life as well.

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    • @princessmethteeth farmers aren't poor. Their worth a lot often cause of their land etc . Especially in Japan. ... land value is crazy... average one bedroom condo in Japan is over a million dollars I bet and u can buy so many nice houses in many parts of the states for that.

    • The gov can also steal their land anytime...

  • Even if I truly loved a guy, I want to get married and raise a family. I want the money to ensure we live happily, I don't want to live by each paycheck. And poor families break apart easily.

  • poor people deserve better than petit-bourgeois fucks

    • it is actually poor people who are believed to change, turn greedier than someone who grew up in a well off family and steal from the initial helper. this is what i m talking about, young emotional people who dont have understandning but blurt things out without any insight.

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    • you have never been poor dude dont fuck w/ me lmao

    • lol. me and my fam lived in the same room until i was 12 cause we rented out other rooms to help with rent. i also talked hood until i was 21 due to my environment. i m not even black.

      i think we were just above getting help from the gov. my parents worked 16 hours a day for as long as i can remember. their love and work ethic is what saved me. now i m educated, a home owner and plan on taking care of them.

      it is education and support that breaks the cycle. i have a heart for those from borken families since they have other issues that prevent them from being valued in society etc .

  • Depends,
    Of course I marry for love BUT
    I have limits, if the poor person is already well settled into a dead end job making minimum wage and has no desire to change that than NO.

    If the poor person was just born into a poor family but is pursing an education to better themselves than YES.

    I've seen good/bad with both. Ex. My mother dating a childhood friend. I suppose he's a cool guy but financially unstable. She pretty much pays for everything rent, car note, food, dates. So in that sense the one whose higher could get used.
    It also puts a lot of stress on her, I definitely don't see any love.

    Or the person whose higher can help the one who's lower. Together they can become rich. "Pretty straightforward "? But I have examples

    My family has been poor: like dirt poor, well off, poor again "drowning in debt", now well again. So I would really put emphasis on family progression or the person them self if they came from a poor family but have bettered themselves. I'm also very understanding that not everyone comes from an equal playing "opportunity" ground.

    My personal example of progression or my reasoning behind my answer is in the comment section. "No need to make my main point long"

    • My great-grandmother: slave "simply put"
      My grandma never finished elementary school and was taken out by her mother to help wok in the fields.
      My mother, aunts, uncles: grew up very poor, like didn't even have toilets poor.

      Up again: We moved north. Economy was well, dad retired in 40s and we had enough money to blow for 2-3 yearly vacations.
      Shopping Sprees

      Down again: G. B.
      economy turn over, drowning in debt. My tuition bill is insane, mortgage rises. Home prices fall.
      My dads income is no longer enough. I started working a lot to pay tuition, so I felt people would think I'm very poor but in fact not.
      He made around 68k which according to the government isn't poor but I felt poorer than the income classified poor people because I'd see many of them abusing the system. Using financial aid refunds for books to buy cars and shoes. Faking mental illness to get government checks.

    • Up again: Dad new job 125k after taxes
      Majority of aunts, uncles from immediate family.
      The same ones from the poor field family.
      Now have degrees in fields like engineering, business, medical field. Separately make 70k maybe "as wife -husband" 140k
      The richest of course the dentist she probably rakes in 160k on her own. Or my uncle who at around 145k after taxes. His wife works as a nurse so I'm sure she makes just enough to put them over the 200k line.

      So that's progression to me
      Everyone's progression maybe not as extreme.

      We also have family members who are poor, uneducated and live off welfare so this is where emphasis has to be put on the person themselves and not the family.

  • Being very poor doesn't define a person. As long she's a girl with goals and passion in life then you'll know she's going to succeed one day. Being very poor to becoming a middle class isn't very hard you know as long as you try hard and determine. For example, going to college then going to grad school or prof. school... once she's a doctor etc then she will no longer poor.

    Life is hard and no one wants to born poor. Dating or loving someone from a different class could be a pressure and a lot of work too. I am sure she would get called a gold-digger and a lot of not so nice names, so...

  • This really is a cliche , but if you love them it shouldn't matter. You guys can talk about things financially before and/or after the wedding.. You can encourage a better job maybe? Uhm hint out little things to make them think what am I doing? It's not very hard to talk to someone really

    • i dont beleive women and most young people have a concept of money and how expensive it is to be self dependent. hence money isn't an issue until they want marriage kids and the life after 25. loving people divorce all the time cause money issues.

  • From my experience its not a good idea. Dated someone who was from middle class (my family are upper class) and he used me for my money. I don't know about marriage, but i don't agree with being with someone who's from a different class as i am.

    • although in your circumstance, none is really hurting for money (middle class is better of the majority) i m talking about poor like, didn't have the childhood and need to help parents pay the bills as a teen poor. i hear you though.

What Guys Said 5

  • We are all going to die and cannot take any materialistic things with us.
    I don't care about how much money a woman makes as long as she isn't lazy and had a job.
    All I care about is finding an amazing person to live my life with. That's it.

    • itd be nice if it were that simple. but, people who beleived this and married often end up divroced, dont recognize their lover anymore and have half of what they started the marriage with.

  • I don't give a fuck about money, so long as someone isn't trying to weasel it out of me.

    • Is it because u have none or ur not aware of its importance? Lol

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    • you must be dumb as fuck trying to brag about the little you know. do you not see how you speak to others before understanding what a response is? do you think hostility comes out of nowhere?

      your dumb ass doesn't deserve any respect. if you're to speak to me as this in real life, youd get bitch slapped and humiliated. but people like you who talk shit on the net are miserable losers, rejects of society. you speak a lot for someone who doesn't know me or how the world works.

    • Nope, you're the dumb ass. You feel you need a lot of money to get what you want, which means you are incapable of doing what you need to do to have what you want. This begs the questions, if you have so little skill, why should anyone pay you anything to begin with?

  • Can you afford to support them and yourself?

    • no. but they will work and help out for sure.

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    • its just a thought... but i m a home owner. it should be fine... one room for us and the other for office (myself) or whatever she wants.

    • Well, since you have your arrangements in order, you should wait for her to show you that she is capable of having her own steady income, if she can do that, I say that you two are good to go

  • Considering middle class men have, in the past, raised families while the wife is a stay-at-home mom shows that if someone that is a middle class citizen ends up with someone that is very poor, as long as that person has a job then there really shouldn't be any problem. I'm taking middle class to be anywhere from 25,000-100,000. Now, it all depends on where you live. If you're a middle class person making 35,000 in a place like San Francisco, then you're probably screwed if your partner doesn't make at least the same amount. while living in the mid-west making 35,000 should easily be enough to support a family of 4.

    I was raised in a middle class house with my dad making 60,000 - 95,000 a year throughout my childhood. My mom was a stay-at-home mom. Then when I was a teenager, my parents got divorced.. my mom made 20,000 a year, but we were able to live with everything that we had before, for the most part, because my mom was in control of the money. My dad had the mindset that because he made as much as he did, he could go out and spend money on almost anything. So, we ended up being short on bills and what not because money management just wasn't there.

    So, I think a middle class and a very poor (I guess we should define what is very poor) person should be able to be get married to one another without a problem. It's called living within your means. If either one is too proud and has to live outside of their means, then it really doesn't matter if you make 20,000 a year or make 200,000 a year... You're going to have a tough time paying your bills.

    I would have no problem marrying a person that is very poor. It's not that they're very poor that would be a problem but why are they very poor. Is it because they lack ambition, are lazy, or is it because they enjoy what they're low paying job, they aren't materialistic so their very poor (in terms of income) is easily enough for them to live off of.

    A persons mindset and character matters. Income.. only to a point.

    • ***is it because they enjoy their* low paying job, they aren't materialistic, and despite them* being very poor (in terms of income) they can easily live off of what they make. - Wow, that was a complete mess.

  • Ever heard the expression "gold digger?" Jumping classes is especially where it ends up applying.