Slowing down after two months?

I am 30, but admittedly "young" in the dating arena. I was engaged at 19, and married at 21 - divorced at 29. I am dating a 24 year old woman who has commitment issues (she changes her mind about everything multiple times, questions us, herself, me, her job, her location, frequently). We spent A LOT of time together early on (talking constantly). I have been 100% completely honest with her, and she is the first person I have "let in" since my divorce.

I have feelings for her (as much as possible for two months), but I find I overanalyze things WAY too much. I have spent the night with her several times (sometimes we spend days together). Then she "flips" and won't see me for a few days, or kicks me out at 9:00 pm. She tells me she can "see herself" with me (married, kids, etc), but then asks me how "she will ever know if it is because we are compatible, or if it is what she really wants. "

I feel like a high school senior in his first real relationship, as my ex-wife was more of a "dependent" than a spouse. I feel like the "newness" or "honeymoon phase" is over, and that maybe I am just beginning to see what a relationship with her will be like. Do I continue to live, learn and be patient (I put up with WAY too much in my former marriage), or do I take a step back and try the dating field a bit more casually?

So she tells me last night that "she doesn't think we are going to make it." I stay the night, she tells me this morning "I could do this every night."

Talk about mixed signals?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Well it depends on how long you have been dating but she sounds a little insecure. She may be thinking that if one marriage didn't work that she may not be doing the right thing because she wants marriage but doesn't know if you're capable. I would try to reasssure her. It will take some patience but if you really care this is nothing to break over unless it becomes extreme. If she wants you to leave at 9 then go home, try to reassure her by saying things like Well I trust your judgment if that's what you want I respect it, and I'll always be here for you, and I'll always support whatever you do as long as your happy. Soon enough she should get over all of her issues.

  • Um yea. She's an odd one give it a month if it keeps up cut it off.


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