I keep looking for answers... Help?

I keep looking for answers hidden on the internet about my husband. I know I sound crazy but hear me out. We've been going through some tough times. I'm not confident that I'm still what he wants. I'm not confident that I'm enough for him. I know he's here with me and I know as people have told me he comes home to me and sleeps with me, but, why when he's here do I feel like he's not really here? I feel like apart of him elsewhere and not with me fully. I feel like half of his heart is still mine but the other half is just, gone. I don't know if it's because of stress lately or if something deeper is going on. And lately when we fight he says things like "I'm not in love with you anymore" or " I don't love you anymore!!" than he'll apologize when the fight is over but I don't believe he loves me the way he did anymore.. Please help!! Am I crazy? Why do I feel this way?:,( I don't know how to talk to him about this and even if I did, what do I say?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Talk to him, don't accuse don't get angry. If you do that he will immediatley get defensive and nothing will be resolved. Communication is the only way your going to fix this problem. It may require you go to a marriage counciler but both of you need to communicate. It could be work stress, it could be financial stress it could be something you do that he has just bottled up inside until it became a much bigger issue than it is. Their are many things that could be happening but you need to try to work through this and that means talking honestly and openly, not airing you greavences just show him you are concerned and you want to help.


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What Guys Said 2

  • ur lack of confidence is an issue you can work on

    ur need to creep on him online is another issue you can also work on

    • The only reason why I have lack of confidence is because of him. He's done a lot and he's had to earn my trust back but when he does he screws up again. So my lack of confidence is because of him, I creep online because I have a right too. He's not mr perfect and he makes a lot of mistakes. I've never been one to hold a grudge but with him I do. Don't get me wrong I love him. But my feelings about him not being with me fully and me not having his whole heart is unbearable pain. Think about the one person you love the most in your life or the one person you love most in your life and them not loving you back or you not loving them how would they feel? I'm out in a position to force myself to be happy everyday when I'm not. And it sucks. He was my best friend and now I can't even talk to my best friend about how he makes me feel.

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    • I'm not judging you. And no I don't know what you've been through. But my question was for the exact reason of myself wanting to know how to deal with it. And your comment and opinions weren't very nice. I'm not judging you but I'm also not saying you have no self respect as you did with me. I have a daughter with this man he was my best friend we got married it was good.
      Now it's just nothing. You may understand how I feel but you could be nicer in explaining and expressing your opinion.

    • i dont like sugarcoating. its unnecessary. i am honest to others the way i would like for them to be honest to me.

  • Well, if he is stressed out he won't talk much. He will be silent, this is how men deal with stress.

    I remember when I had a depression, I had no interest in anything. I came back home from school straight to my bed. This sounds weird but I wasn't even attrected to girls anymore. I had no interest in girls. And even had some attrection to a male class mate. For only a few seconds.

    Frist time in my life that I had this sort of gay moment in my life. I didn't know what was happening to me. But I'm glad that is over.

    • Thank you for your advice!
      I just don't know how to talk to him or have him open up its been this way for a month now and he's just built this wall up with me that I feel like it's something else you know? I've never been in a faithful relationship. I've always been cheated on. And I guess I'm afraid that that's what's happening to me and him. He's the love of my life and I've never felt this way about anyone. And he was my best friend! Now I feel like I don't have a husband let alone my best friend. I don't know how to deal with this or how to help him if he is depressed. I don't even know how to get me and him back on the same track..

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    • Okay, than that part is allright.

      I heard that some women 'punish' their husband by not having sex. Which sounds as abuse to me.

      But, yes he needs space and not much talking.

    • I do not lol I love having sex with him to much to do that.. Haha
      And thanks for all of your advice! I hope he becomes okay again. And I hope me and him we will be okay again!!

What Girls Said 1

  • Talk to him, and tell him basically what you just wrote here. That he feels distant and that the things he says during your fights worry you, even though he takes his mean words back after the fight.

    • I've tried but even when I explain how I feel I can't get the words out correctly. I need him to understand the pain I feel about our relationship basically ending if this doesn't stop. An every time I even get close to saying it it comes out wrong and I end up saying something else. I am afraid that he's not going to care or that the answer will already be what I'm feeling.