Lengthy scenario: Opinions Highly Valued?

Let's say we have a woman originally from one country. She has everything she wants there: family, friends, her schooling, (which has also landed her a new career that is a permanent position as long as she continues schooling).

Now let's say she met a man who was actually from another country. There he has everything, his family, his friends, his career (although isn't very reliable and it causes him to be laid off months at a time with no pay).

Now let's make it even more complicated. This man and woman fell in love, and blinded by love, she gave up everything for this man, had his baby, moved to his country and a year later, ended up miserable. She could not work because of immigration laws, her husband was horrible at keeping income consistant and ultimately she wound up depressed, and moved back to her original country with their baby.

She went back to the life she knew and loved, once again had her family, career, and son by her side. And then her husband asked her once more to move BACK to HIS country so he could have his wife and son. He does not want to move to her country (too much sacrifice) and she would prefer to wait to return to his until she could have a guaranteed career there (which would be about another 6 months). He won't even move temorarily for her.

Ultimately, she wants to stick to her plans and he's not willing to do anything her way for once. She is content and satisfied with her life even without him. She doesn't want to hurt him and remain in her country, but why should she have to sacrifice everything at the drop of a ball for him? He knew she was miserable in his country and he knew he could not provide for her and their baby properly.

Should they choose to end their marriage? In a situatuion like this, with two separate countries, I feel there is little compromise. One of them will be giving up everything, and that would just cause resentment in my eyes.

What wou

*ld you do in this scenario, as either the wife or husband?


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What Guys Said 2

  • personally i'd let da court decide who would take da son, and we would live separately. each on his/her own country. maybe we could b long-distanced but friends only

  • If he won't make any sacrifices at all for her then it is truly doubtful that he actually loves her, let alone cares for her. When you are truly in love with someone you will do anything for them, make any sacrifice. Since this guy has not been willing to compromise on *anything* he probably just wants someone around to control, have sex with, and etc.
    If I were in that situation I would move to the womyn's country to be with her without a second thought. Love and loyalty are extremely important.

    • Seems like the never-ending song for relationships I'm afraid. People put themselves first when your first priority should be sustaining the relationship. There is no "I" in relationships, only "we".

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