Should I try to reconnect with an old lover as a friend?

Over 20 years ago I met a girl and we fell in love. I believe it was the first real love for both of us. e dated for over 2 years and talked about marriage, but in the end she broke it off. She knew that I still loved her and I believe she still loved me, but it wasn't going to work. I took it badly, but in the end we tried to stay friends, and it worked for a while. But over the years we lost touch. I met and married a wonderful girl and heard she also got married. Would it be inappropriate for me to look her up after 20 years just to see how she is? We share a lot of old friends, and they ask about her now and then. We still have a lot in common and it would be good to talk to her as an old friend. There are NO romantic notions here at all. We are both happily married, in fact I would like to meet her husband and for her to meet my wife someday. But most of all I just want my old friend back.

What do you think?


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What Girls Said 2

  • If you are married and so is she, then I really don't see any point in contacting her. plus you don't knw if she will be ok with it. I think you should save ur time and save ur marriage, because you never know what all this can stir up. its possible you guys can just stay friends, but its also possible that one day something can happen, if ur marriage is strong and ur happy, let the past stay at that. Personally I wpuldnt want my husband talking to his ex, especially someone he loved. well id like to knw what you will decide to do. I also think if ur thinking abt this girl you still might have some feelings for her. and you may miss her , but you dnt know it yet. and once you see her you will realize it then.


    • i haven't made a decision yet to try to find her, but I did talk to my wife and while not thrilled with it, understands and is supportive. She keeps up with her old beau through family and friends and I know she now only sees him as a friend. She knows I feel the same. I'll let you know what happpens.

    • Well I hope you do get what you want, I guess if ur just looking for ur long lost friend then I guess its possible. Good luck with everything, :) and thanx for letting me knw what will happen :)

  • I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you feel strong and secure enough in your marriage. Enough time has passed. I would maybe arrange to go for dinner as a double date so there is no awkwardness or opportunity for old feelings to complicate things and you will have a chance for her to meet your wife, and you to meet her husband. Goodluck!


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