I am scared that he won't want to talk to me anymore.

We've been friends for 2 years, and when I am with him I develop many and multiple emotions toward him. However, this year I felt him strained towards me.

I understand that he is always busy, that he hasn't had time to see me since October, however, we were still having contact through msm. But also that contact started to get lost since the last days of October, if he has had contact with me it was because I called him.

Now there was going to be a reunion with a group of friends, but it got canceled, and he said that he was going to visit his family for vacations in the middle of Dec, that he postponed the trip so he could see us, then return in January. I proposed him a last going out before he left. Then he answered me that he would see, because he was busy and that he was going to his family's place earlier than he told.

So I responded that the next weekend would be difficult to see us again. And I added that why he did change the date of his trip, if he doesn't want to go out with me again and if I do hurt him in some way or if he doesn't like me anymore, that please, don't be angry with me anymore.

I think I messed it up, I am scared that he won't want to talk to me anymore (well, more than he does) when he read it and if we get in the msm again.

Can he be angry with me for writing this? Won't he want to talk to me anymore? Those are my doubts and my fears now. But if he is my friend, he would understand, wouldn't he?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Could you clarify - have you dated this man? or are you "just friends" with him?


    Almost every individual would see that message as a little bit shy / nervous - which isn't always a bad thing; however, it's a "push and pull" effect:

    You push by saying "wtf, where were you, if you don't wanna go - just say so." (overexageration)


    You pull by saying "I'm sorry if I hurt you, I'm just confused... Please don't be angry with me" (overexageration)

    This makes his mind like a roller coaster - "She's p*ssed, I should fix this" --> "She's appologizing, I can walk on her"

    Stand your ground and be yourself - don't be afraid of your emotions, but BE RESPECTFUL:

    "Have you been busy lately?"

    (No, just working, why?)

    "Well we had the trip planned, I was worried about what happened to you"

    (Oh, I was just busy - they called me in at the last second)

    "Ah, alright"

    (Are you bothered?)

    "Yeah a little, it's one of my pet-peeves to not know what's going on"

    - Blah blah blah -

    By communication, you are opening the door to understanding - if you can understand and compromise, then your relationship will be much better for the future (rather than trying to guess what's going on) ;; No two people / situations are the same!

    Best regards,


    • We're just friends. Now that you mention it, I want to talk to him or give him a email. Ask him if everything is all right. But I am afraid that he would be annoyed by me, felt harassed by me.

    • Show up in person - it's much more respectful after a rollercoaster ride like that. Just show up at a reasonable time during the night (8-9pm) and knock on his door. If you don't know where he lives - call him; if you don't have his phone number - email him.

      =) he won't feel harassed, there's no reason to feel threatened - your only trying to put forth effort.

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