Getting married and have never been a relationship before, any advice?

I am going to be married in a month. I really never been in a relationship before (why? I dont really know). I got engaged a month ago (Yes! arranged). My fiance is actually out of the state and has come to meet me during the weekend. We were complete stranger before the engagement. This might sound horrible but i have really good feelings about this and i know we both with be able to work out all the kinks. Even people who know each other, love each other, run into problems. He did have one girlfriend. His relationship with her lasted very long, highschool sweethearts. He broke up with her about 2 years ago. I however never been in a relationship. I did have guy friends but always knocked down the idea of becoming someone girlfriend. What i need is advice from both men and women, who are in committed relationship or married.

What do you expect from your partner? What do you want them to expect from you? What could ruin it or make it for you? Any past experiences?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You'll have to learn to live with him just like in any other relationship that people are commited. Your "disadvantage" is that you don't know him and will already get married. Both of you have to be patient and try to understand each other if you want this to work, I think it'll be far from being perfect but depending on your will and dedication to make things work, your marriage can work.

    • Of course! You can't except things to be perfect if you dont work on it. We are both willing to work at it. Even through we dont know each other, we both grew a deep amount of respect for each other. We are both getting into a serious thing without anything to hold onto expect each other. But since he has been in a relationship I feel like i have disadvantage, he says he fine with it and he will let me know but i feel like its best if i have some idea of things i could look out for.

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    • Yes I am. When you start a new job, you work out to make things right. I am putting the same idea into marriage. Hopefully it works out.

    • I wish you good luck!

Most Helpful Girl

  • 1) Take deep breaths... it's normal to be nervous and anxious.

    2) Keep a positive and open mind.

    3) Be at ease and be your loving self... things will come naturally to u, but don't get discouraged if you do something your husband doesn't like, you're still learning each other and u both need to be patient with the other.

    4) Don't be afraid to disagree with him and have your own opinion. Your thoughts matter just as much as his do.

    5) Be confident in yourself and him and that the marriage will be a successful one.

    6) Pray. Prayer is a woman's most powerful and reliable weapon.

    Don't expect everyday to be roses and sweet cream... it's going to get difficult sometimes, but you can't let it get to u. Fix it and move on.

    7) Never ever go to bed mad at each other. Let the marriage bed only know laughter, peaceful rest and hot sex.

    I wish u the best.

    • Thanks so much. This is what i was looking for.

    • Not a problem. I had to learn these things myself.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • When you are married, forget about what "I" want and think about what "we" want. Forget about what "I" need and think about what "we" need. Forget about "my" problems and "his" problems, and think only about "our problems." Forget about how much you put into the marriage; ask yourself only "am I getting what I need from this relationship." Forget about waiting for Friday to arrive so you can have fun; learn how to appreciate and have fun in the grocery store on Tuesday night.

    • Thanks so much for the advice. I want mainly thinking about what i could do for him. Completely forget its no longer him and me but we.

  • An arranged marriage in the USA? You're doomed

    • Why would you say that?

    • Show All
    • Havent*

    • I wish you luck and happiness

What Girls Said 1

  • I expect my partner to love and respect me, and i will love and respect him. I expect him to help me with chores and be responsible financially. I want him to expect that i am very open and will work with his wants and needs as long as he works with mine. A marriage is combining two different minds, two different personalities in one house. Your secrets will be known to him and his will be known to you. You'll have to love him when he's being disagreeable and difficult. The same goes for him. What can ruin it for me is if he completely loses himself in a substance like drugs, excessive gambling, or women or being abusive. I can't live with someone like that. When i met him, he had many deep, dark secrets, but you must realize they are human, they make mistakes and as long as he's trying to better himself, it will be fine. Sorry long answer to your question.

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