I`m thinking about converting to Islam so I can marry my girlfriend?

I know I can`t marry her unless I convert and she is the one for me that is for sure, now both of us are virgins that is maybe why I was accepted easier to the family.

She has told her parents and I have sat with her dad and been invited around their house for dinner. All good but I`m curious as to how the wider muslim community and her relatives will view me as this is the first marriage of this type to occur in their family.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I've seen it happen a couple of times, in fact my French Math teacher converted and he married another Yemeni teacher in my school. He's completely accepted and they have 2 kids.
    It all depends on the family as-well, but your girlfriend's family seems to be cool.

    • I got no doubt it will work I`m so welcomed by the family

Most Helpful Guy

  • Am a Saudi guy and my 2nd wife is an American that converted to Islam.

    When we first got together, I was living in US as a student. We now live in Qatar in an expatriate community together with my 2 other wives.

    In terms of being accepted, this isn't really an Islamic thing, this is more of a race, tribe or cultural issue that is separate from religion. If you are living in a Western country and marrying a girl who is a 2nd or 3rd generation then it will be significantly different from you moving to an Asian or Arabian country.

    My 2nd wife, unlike the other 2 wasn't an arranged marriage, my wives are accepting of her, the children from the 1st as well as the 3rd wife are accepting of her (other than the time she disciplines them), my parents approve of her and encouraged me to live in a gated expatriate community so things are easier on her, there are some relatives that dislike her purely because she is an American and regardless of what she does they would still dislike her.

    In terms of religion, I never once told her she had to convert, technically she didn't need to convert as she was a Catholic, I always told her look for similarities between religions rather than differences as there is only 1 God. I never once told her to go for any kind of religious classes and if she needed to know anything there is always a very good Quran in English either on the computer or in the drawer and if she wanted there were several good books on understanding Islam that she could read. These days she is the more pious one and in many ways I have to give it to her that she is probably more a Muslim than I would ever be. She is well accepted in the circles she is involved with especially in school and the various groups she is into and yes I do keep an eye what is it she is involved with.

    Therefore to the question asker. I would say there isn't a hard and fast rule but it is a very good start to be accepted by her immediate family as usually the rest will fall in line.

    • Thanks for sharing

      I'm getting a good impression of the religion and now that there are closed minded and open minded people everywhere and no if I were not to. be accepted by the relatives or members from the community it would rather be a cultural or individual matter rather than an Islamic one and I know this differs from place to place.

      I even heard of racism from one Muslim community to that of another on grounds of comming from different countries I put that down to a legacy of racism from the colonial past.
      Since I read into the history of Islam there wasn't the black and white racism associated with western colonisation.

    • Many countries with a significant Muslim population tend to be tribal in nature. Racism had been going on LONG since before the colonialist arrived and you could say that the colonialist should have done more about racism as they did with slavery but it didn't happen. There are still racism among Arabs of different tribes, in much of Asia other than East Asia there are plenty of racism among different sects, tribes or sub-ethnic groups.

      In any case, it is rarely ever the case that you need acceptance from her greater circle of relatives unless you are moving to an Arabian or Asian country and need to depend on one of the relatives for a job. Beyond her parents, the more important siblings and perhaps a grandparent or two, acceptance isn't really required in these cultures.

      Like myself, I told my wife just be herself, regardless of what she does those that don't accept her won't accept her.

    • Thanks for the advice

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 10

  • I don't understand how people can just switch religions?

    Please explain.

    My religious views are at the core of who I am as a person and I feel like to change them would be to completely change myself.

    • Im a truth seeker and don't settle for one view or what I was told by my parents as I was growing up. I owe that to myself

    • I don't get it either, how could you abandon your religion? I know I'm not religious but I to an extent understand how important to your life it must be, and that you found your way to that god... to then just walk away for a girl?

  • Nearly five years ago, a Muslim man from Egypt found me on Facebook and we had started a whirlwind romance by chance. After getting to know him better on Skype, I then flew off to the magical land of Egypt, where I stayed with him and his lovely family for 30 days.
    Things went so well, that after returning home, I then jumped back on board and once again, jetted off to Cairo once more, tying the knot at the Ministry of Justice.
    I stayed for awhile. learning how to be a Muslim's wife but along the way, I did suffer some strife. I am a Christan, but that really was not even the problem, for he and his family never tried to convert me but did expect the Respect while I was living in Egypt and under their roof, to abide by the customs and religion and culture, which I did... Most of the time.
    I am back in the states now and with our many ups and downs and Breakups and Makeups, we have gone astray and estranged many times over. Currently, we are not speaking and I have told him I am not coming back, to please move on and even to divorce me. my reasons for the seasons that being this Middle east has just grown worse, along with other personal matters in this marriage, I feel it Best from the Rest to have us both move on.
    It's your choice, your call, think it over carefully. Being In a Muslim family does have its advantages and disadvantages that you will find out. There is a lot to live up to being a Muslim, and if you think you can handle this, then your love and patience and even God's hand will guide you all the way, if it is mean to be.
    However, with my own Muslim husband, I came second and mom and dad always came first.
    Good luck. xx

    • Thanks for sharing, the problems you mentioned I could classify as person to person problems or marital problems, not necessary due to religion.

      I believe everyone is meant for someone I guess that guy wasn`t for you Im sorry.
      But with this girl we clicked so well and we don`t even have to be doing anything or talking and we will enjoy each others company.

    • It sounds good so far but Marrying someone and living with them, especially under a family affair, is the Living proof... Good luck and do think this over, more than meets the eye. xxoo

  • They are very accepting and if they haven't demanded you convert then I would say they are true Muslims not the ones you are shown by media to make you afraid. My advice read the Quran there is a lot in there that is interesting and some not so but enter with an open mind and then make your decision :) best wishes

    • I like the muslim values and only concerned with the relatives and they potential in-laws are really welcoming me as an outsider to the religion and their community

  • If she really loves you, she won't make you do that.

    • It's not that simple its a life style choice we have to be compatible with each other

    • @Asker You two are grown adults and it is your home, not her fathers. I'm sure you could find a way to make it work without abandoning your own beliefs.

    • I'm drawn to the values of the religion already but I can see what you are coming at

  • the only reason you should convert is if you accept the way Mohammad lived his life and that he is indeed a prophet of god. if you are christian that means you should be comfortable relegating jesus as a mere prophet and not son of god. any other reason is foolish.

    • that is part of the muslim testimony

    • Show All
    • I agree becoming a muslim is a different lifestyle. You need to know if you beleive in it before converting.
      Anw good lck I think it s lovely what you re doing :)

    • Believe*

  • Well so you believe in God? Look into the religion first s e if you will be comfortable with it. Also love over comes everything , religion shouldn't be an obstacle.

  • thats cool dude!

  • But... but... you don't believe in Allah! If you did then you'd already be a Muslim.

    • Allah means God in the arabic language and I do believe in God

    • As hell no, you can't be serious! You'd abandon your God for Allah on something akin to a technicality? The two have different holy books, one states that Jesus is the son of God, the other says he's a prophet doesn't it?

      I think it just goes to show how little conviction and faith you had in Christianity if you can easily abandon it for a false idol. Most of the commandments are about this very thing, worshipping false idols, other gods... you won't get into heaven.

  • This is fucking stupid. I have no respect for you.

  • Message @lifes_curve_ball

    Or @omar5881

    They will help you out. 😊

    • Ok thanks anonymous

    • You're welcome✌❤

What Guys Said 12

  • My suggestion is, be careful and ask yourself if you want to be a Muslim first. Then decided if you want to marry, thereby separating the two.

    Converting religions in order to marry is a difficult subject. I have known several marriages that this fall under this category. Sometimes it works and they are happy. For others, after about a year, the person who “converted” drifts away from that new religion, and there are a lot of issues in the marriage because of it.

    Those people that I’ve know that make this work, seem to fall into a category where they would have converted, even without the marriage. They wanted to be a Lutheran, Muslim, Mormon, etc. and would have converted anyway.

    So, I would suggest asking yourself, “If I took the marriage out of the equation, would I want to convert”. If you do, go for it. If not, I would guess, very quickly, you are going to move away from your new religion. Considering how Muslims feel about other Muslims who aren’t obeying their rules, it will probably cause you a lot of issues with her family

    • as I mentioned on the other comments I find the values in Islam to be good so that is also a plus side to it, and the girl is really kind to her parents unlike the western girls I dated

    • I am not saying you shouldn’t do it, I am just saying you have to be careful. When it comes to religion and politics, people tend to be very emotional. If you convert then stop practicing, her family is going to think you converted only to get married to her (i. e. get into her pants).

      The people that I have known that make this type of thing work, are those who converted independent of the person they loved. In your case you should pretend in your mind that her family told you that you will never be allowed to marry her, no matter what you do. Then decide if you want to become Muslim anyway. If you want to convert anyway, then the fact that you’re converting isn’t going to be an issue, as it is no longer a requirement for marriage, but a choice of religion by you.

      I have seen it many times. People convert to a new religion, ONLY because they want to date/marry a person. In the end they drift away from the new religion after about a year, causing a lot of issues with the family.

    • Im doing it sincerely and thanks for your advice

  • Okay, if you'd like you can do it. They probably won't look down on you or something, because they already kinda like you and in Islam conversion is not a bad thing. It's not a disadvantage at all, heck you may even get extra credit from the relatives of her for "finding" the right path.

  • If you're OK with making changes with to your life style and you love her and want to make this official then go for it bro! But are you?

    But most importantly you have to be genuinely sincere.

    Being a Muslim in today's day and age isn't easy I'll tell you that. Especially in western countries. You'll have to put in some effort.

    • I expect the odd stares and some discrimination but that isn't putting me off

    • Show All
    • I think Islam is universal and undoubtedly I will do more research on the religion and good luck to you as well

  • I think you should only convert, when it's absolutely genuine. Converting only to be more accepted by her family is actually way more disrespectful than saying you don't want to or saying you will look into it but can't guarantee.

    Your religious belief is a very personal thing you shouldn't do just on peer pressure to others.

  • Girl: " I love you so much that i want YOU to abandon your beliefs and choose mine because I obviously can't do it for you. But i still love you as much as you do. TRUST ME"

  • I don't know...
    I think one's relationship with a religion should be a direct personal belief, or passion for it. Not for the social acceptance of a group of people. I wouldn't change my religious stance to marry someone. I don't think true love requires that of us.
    This is all purely opinion. Hopefully it's helpful to you somehow.
    Good luck!

    • the decision is based on love

    • That's good, but also love can be a blinding force. My best advice is to truly think this through. Think about all aspects. Past, present and future.

  • You will never be truly accepted. Not sure how old you are but this is a huge commitment. At a minimum if it doesn't work out you will have a good grasp of Islam.

  • if you are doing it for love, go for it!
    Whats stopping you?

    • Only Im standing in my own way for now

    • Well stop it!
      If you love her, don't use your head, she is a woman! Use your heart!

  • Does that Muslim babez wear the hijab and all that HAWT stoofs?

    • Yes indeed

    • Wow.. i nvr really thought those kinda Muslim babez would even accept ur proposal.. what breed are u and y'all in US right?

  • Whatever you do, NEVER sacrifice any bit of yourself for the sake of another girl.

    • Women sacrifice themselves when they get pregnant with our babies

  • How about you ask her to convert to your religion, in that case too you can marry her.

    • I was atheist and I'm interested in the religion

  • People who change their religion, of all things, for another person are unprincipled and weak.

    Stop being a pussy and move on from her. Seriously.

    • MGTOW right?

    • No, I simply am not so fickle when it comes to my core values.

      Sorry, if you can bend that easy, you aren't a man of any worth.

    • no core values have been changed by me and wow I never knew a stranger on the internet knew what I held for believes

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