How can he act like everything is okay?

So I met this guy in January last year... We became friends he was dating someone else...Moved in with her and came to me for advice...In April him and her were having problems and he came to me they broke up we got closer and talked alt more... A few weeks later he asked me out I said no...Then he kept trying...We got together in June a month later he told me he was in love with me...He knew my believe on marriage I have never wanted to get married...But would keep telling me he was going to get a ring on my finger... In September he found out that his dad cheated on his mom he broke up with me in October said he needed space because he wasn't handling the divorce well...We said mean things to each other out of anger and he slept with someone from work... One night he called me apologizing blah told me the truth and was on his way to my house at 3 am...Well he started to get pulled over and decided to run 14 min high speed chance...Ran into a wall a tree and was drunk...Well we got back together and I thought things were fine we talked about marriage and kids and all that on thanksgiving he asked my dad for my hand we planned on getting engaged on Christmas eve in front of the families...Court got closer and he broke up with me again...Court date comes around and they post pone it to this month...We started talking again and then I kind freaked out on him and pushed him...I changed my number after I found out he was with the girl he slept with the first time... How can he be in love wand want to merry me one day and then not love me and wants nothing to do with me now? This is my first major heart break only my heart doesn't hurt...Everyone tells me that I am in shock and it still has hope... He goes to court tomorrow and finds out if he is going to jail or not...What's wrong with me and how can he be like this? Did he mean it all or not? Was I just a game?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Its probably not a game, guys don't normally play games. It sounds like he is going through hell right now. See guys don't talk about their feelings. We get distant, we hide our feelings and girls don't understand this. I'm sure if you were in his situation your logical thought process would be to discuss your feelings with him. Guys don't do this... its considered weak. Whenever we do talk about our feelings we get a sense of helplessness and weakness and its pretty overwhelming.

    However seeing he ditched you (his supposed one true love) for another girl, you should probably just ditch him and forget about him. you seem like a nice girl and do not deserve this kind of bullsh*t if he is sleeping with other girls. The break up would be understandable if it was simply do to stress. I've broken up with girls do to too much happening in my life, however I also didn't propose to them before hand.

    This guy seems a little too immature to commit to you, most guys push off marriage and for a good reason. I'm don't want to be married until A) I've fulfilled at least some of my lifes dreams and goals, B) Have a steady job and career path and C) Find the right girl.

    • I understand guys don't talk about their feelings but what is the point of having someone else right after wards? he had court this past wedensday and they post poned it again for another 30 because the lawyer forgot to talk to the d a......i feel that it would e a lot easier for me to move on and let go if he does go to jail..

    • Sex.. though that really shows his lack of care for your feelings.I mean most of the "nice" guys I know and hang around ith will refuse to go out and talk to girl because they have a "potential girlfriend (aka a girl who shows interest in them but they haven't asked out yet) My point is is these guys show such concern fo feelings of girls they aren't even attached to yet, your boyfriend show be shoing double. The fact that he is sleeping with other ladies means he is the scum of the earth.Move on

What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think he was playing a game, I think he is going through so much stress and no matter how it may make you feel, you are apart of that stress. Guys will never tell you about their problems or how they feel. They will try to deal with it on their own, him distancing himself from you was probably a way he thought would make his problems ease up. You have to show him that you are there for him.

    Also some guys will be as cruel as they can be so the break up is easier for the girl, once the guy is mean half the time the girl decides she really doesn't need him and she will back off. Sometimes instead of being mean, they sleep around and make SURE OF IT that the girlfriend finds out.

    BUT, I agree with centrestriker, you probably don't deserve any of this. If he's giving you all of this troube then YOU should be the one leaving him. No matter what, you should always stand up for yourself to a man. And hey, sometimes when a girl does that, the guy will like what they see and change so they can be good enough. Good luck!

    • Why doesn't my heart hurt? I have so many people telling me so many different it doesn't hurt cause it still has hope and that he hasn't let go yet then I have heard because I wasn't in love and then I have heard that it will take longer for it to come because this is my first time...i have no idea I dream and think about him all the time he is in my dreams I feel like I am in a stupid chick flick and I see his face everywhere I'm tired of it

    • Your heart probably doesn't hurt because maybe somewhere inside you don't feel like it's over. You need closure maybe? There are thousands of answers to that question, or maybe because you really know that this is all for the best. Most of the time when you dream about someone it's because you fell asleep thinking about them. Before you go to bed think about something else. Everything will get better with time. All you have is time nowadays. Don't take it for granted.