Should I marry him?

I need some insightful answers. It seems my boyfriend cannot have children and he wants to get married. I love children and I want to have at least one. Should I get married if it is not going to be possible to have them with him? I don't really know how he feels about adopting, but I don't think he's too thrilled about the idea. What should I do, could this affect our relationship in the future. (By the way, I think he would be a terrific father)


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you really want children and he does not, this could REALLY affect your relationship later. What you need to do is sit down with him and talk about this issue. Definitely find out for sure how he feels about adoption. Adoption is tricky, because if one parent doesn't particularly want a biological child, they're still faced with the fact that the child is their own flesh and blood. Adopted children don't have that biological connection. I was acquainted with a girl growing up who was adopted was somewhat neglected by her adoptive father, and in retrospect later, I realized that there were signs I didn't see as a little girl of how it affected her. So, if you think he has doubts about adopting a child, you shouldn't do that with him, because it can mess up a kid down the road.

    Also, if he can't have children the "traditional" way, is artificial insemination a possibility? As long as his body produces sperm and you are fertile, this could help you conceive. Basically, this doesn't have to be the death knell for your relationship, but it could be if you don't talk about it now before you're formally committed to one another.

    • This is a great answer!

    • Yes, thank you for your advice. I will have to talk to him about this. We haven't really discussed all possibilities.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Be open, honest, and serious about what you want and what he wants and what compromises you can make.

    The worst thing that could happen is you make a commitment that won't work out in the long run.


What Girls Said 1

  • If you want kids and he doesn't then that will most likely cripple your relationship. Talk to him about adoption and if he says he doesn't want kids at all then find someone who will.

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