Would you stay with someone who says he is not ready to get married and don't think if he is it will be you?

The guy am seeing says he believes when he see's the person he suppose to marry he would know (since we are not married I guess it's not me) am not willing to sleep around, so am holding on hoping for him to change his mind, we get along great together. Am I WASTING My TIME GUYS OR GIRLS WHAT SHOULD I DO.


Most Helpful Girl

  • How long have you two been dating?

    • We started dating two years ago, but we only dated for two months and he went away, he came back last year and we have now been dating for four months, its not that am ready to marry him I wonder if he would choose me when he's ready.

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    • Thankyou that's how I FEEL, am going away for three months if when I return we still wants to go out with me I would discuss it then( let me know if you agree.)

    • I agree. Good luck :) and keep your head up ;)

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What Guys Said 1

  • This guy is a real piece of work. Move on.


What Girls Said 2

  • this:

    "so am holding on hoping for him to change his mind"

    is a mistake. From my experience and observations, men don't really "change" their minds like that. They're either at that point in their lives or not. Him saying "when he sees the person he's supposed to marry, he will know" not only speaks volumes about whether he sees you as wife material or not, but also screams that he is not thinking of settling down anytime soon.

    Now, you may say that you're cool with holding out a bit and not looking to get married right now anyway, but think about it: he has basically told you that even if he was ready, you are not someone he will marry. "Holding on HOPING" for him to change his mind will do nothing but tie you to him when you could instead be available for other suitors that may take you more seriously. And let's be honest, men don't propose on the 2nd date lol. The way I see it, if marriage is ANYwhere on your radar (as in not necessarily now, but sometime in near future..), as SOON as a guy informs you (either by his actions or his words) that he doesn't see you as a potential wifey, keep it the f*** moving lol. Sorry, I'm just being real.

    • The truth is always hard to deal with, I sometimes want to move on but with who, the men I meet are either married or living with someone this guy is the first guy I met in about two years who seem likeable.

    • I know,I know it's hard..but another way to look at it: You are actually better off single than tied to a guy who has decided he will never be serious with you. Because at least then, you're in a position to date others and have people approach. But if you remain tied to this guy, you're unavailable while he keeps lookout for his "better match". It's unfair really. And you never know, leaving him may give his head a shake and help him realize what he's lost. But "waiting" for him to change=no no

  • It matters how long you have been dating him

    Maybe you should bring it up and see what he says

    Tell him how you feel. Its not fair to him, if you automatically assume for the worst.

    Maybe he is not ready yet.

    But, If you feel that way go find someone else