I'm 29 and I think I want to get married. My boyfriend of almost a year told me when we fist started dating that getting married had never been part of his plans and he has never thought about it seriously. I made it quite clear to him that, that's what I'm eventually looking for though. He said he'd conaider it... back then.
I do love him however I think that if I'd just agree to live with him he'd probably never want to get married and have a family with me. His parents never got married and got separated when he was only five so that's normality for him. And no one in my family has ever gotten a divorce... So our values probably clash here... What should I do? I love him but I also have things that I have always wanted in my life and I feel like I'd be betraying myself if I just settled. Help?
Most Helpful Guy
You're worried because you're almost 30 and you feel your ship is about sail. You claim you love your boyfriend yet you're thinking of breaking up with him because he won't marry. You should consider that you two have been in a relationship merely a year (that amount of time isn't enough to consider marriage to lots of people), and he is not rushed into it, PLUS he clearly/and honestly mentioned he isn't particularly thinking of marrying ever since you started dating. You were the one agreeing to the relationship while knowing that, how is that his fault?
"I love him but I also have things that I have always wanted in my life and I feel like I'd be betraying myself if I just settled" All I read is me, me, me, me, me... which is pretty selfish of you. Maybe you should've thought about it in the beginning when he said he wasn't considering marriage? Instead you'll probably threat him with breaking up if he doesn't want to marry. Do as you wish, but just take note you're acting selfishly and this isn't his fault at all.0
Most Helpful Girl
One of the biggest cause for divorce is clashing values other than financial stability. If your values clash now what makes you think he will change his mind? If you do get married to this guy and you will probably see more clashing values in the future. If he's not ready to be married to you then you are not the one for him and you deserve better. Find someone who values marriage as much as you and start a family with him. Don't ever change your values for someone else. Find someone who has the same values as you cuz who knows in the future what else will clash with this guy. You don't want to get divorced.0