You're a 56-year-old man: Would you rather be with a homely woman in her 50s or a sexy woman in her 30s?

Anonymous
I'm a 36yo woman, never married, no kids, good job, intelligent, own 3 houses & a boat. I'm no supermodel, but I'm very attractive, fit & sexy. I've never been into older guys & usually date men in their mid 20s-early 30s.

A year ago I met a man whom, despite being 20 years my senior, I was drawn to instantly. We exchanged calls & texts & bumped into each other a couple times over the next 2 months before we went on our first date. After that, the physical part of our relationship heated up & it wasn't long before we were intimate. Our sexual chemistry was amazing & we seemed so comfortable together.

A month later, he nonchalantly mentions there's another woman he dates. I was disappointed & told him I didn't want to put myself in a situation where he was choosing to spend his time with her over me, but he continued to pursue me. I figured he must not be too serious with her because he called many nights a week & she wasn't around. It was early on for us & I thought things would evolve as we spent more time together, so I continued seeing him.

A few weeks later I found out from someone else that this woman was essentially his girlfriend for the past year. And while I do not know her personally, we live in a small city so I know who she is. She's 53, dresses & wears makeup like it's the 1980s with no modern sense of style & isn't sexy or really even remotely attractive. I kept it to myself for a few weeks & based on what I was able to discern, she seemed boring & they didn't appear to have much of a sexual relationship, if at all, because they never spent the night together. I was sure she didn't stand a chance against me.

A few weeks later I did confront him about it & he admitted he was in a relationship with her but that he didn't want to stop seeing me. Despite my better judgment I couldn't stay away. The fact that I kept meeting guys that seemed like ridiculous idiot losers next to him didn't help. An argue-makeup cycle went on for the next 4 months, during which I felt we grew close, & then he drops on me that he proposed to her a month prior & they're getting married in 2 months. Needless to say I was crushed, but I figured why stop now? We both make each other feel so good, & not just sexually. I made it clear I wouldn't sleep with him after he married. Looking back, I was in denial that it would happen. Well, 10 days ago it did.

He slept with me 9 days before the wedding, & I found out he got out of bed with me that morning & met her to apply for their marriage license. He tried to have phone sex with me 3 days before. We talked on the phone every night until the day of. We've had no contact since, but I know he will try before long. Others have observed his lack of excitement during the engagement, & he indicated more than once he may be making a mistake. He is active in his church & likes to maintain a certain image, & she fits that. But I don't understand how he can behave this way and think he's ready to marry. Thoughts?
Updates:
+1 y
To the judgmental: He's willingly met & spent half a day with my dad, he's taken hours away from his business to fix my boat & we go out in public all the time. And he says I make him feel good about himself, so she's lacking something besides looks.
+1 y
wicksjm, I appreciate your compassionate reply and recognition that I'm someone who gradually got pulled into a giant fiasco, albeit while shouldering some blame. This week's been hard because until now he's been in my life almost daily for the past 9 mos
You're a 56-year-old man: Would you rather be with a homely woman in her 50s or a sexy woman in her 30s?
23
18
Add Opinion