I'm a 24 year old who has recently graduated from University. I have some pretty strong feelings for my former teaching assistant (a 27 year old PhD student). We seemed to vibe well and had some intellectual discussions. In fact, since I've graduated, we have met several times to discuss topics relevant to both my academic interests and his research. While I was his student I was certain that it was just some silly "school girl" crush. The more I speak to him, however, the more attracted I feel to him. I find him very intelligent, grounded, determined, and insightful...it doesn't hurt that he's especially attractive. In your opinion, would it be acceptable to let him know my feelings? Any tips on how to do it? Any help would be appreciated. Thank you! :)
- Yes, it is OK to pursue a former teaching assistant/professorVote A
- No, it is not OK to pursue a former teaching assistant/professorVote B
- It depends/Need more informationVote C
Most Helpful Guy
I actually have first-hand experience with this question...
I once was a TA for three years during my undergrad for an engineering class. During that time there were many girls that were flirty (some in attempt for a better grade, some just that way, and some genuine) and there were a few that were actually in to me. I could just tell. I returned the interest in one girl in particular, so much so that I actually asked the course coordinator what the official university policy was on the matter. He said that it was not advisable to date a student, but after they passed the course at the end of the semester, anything was fair game. It wasn't long after the semester that this girl and I started dating. It actually got pretty serious before it ended due to some totally unrelated drama (but that's another story).
Anyway, long story short, I think it's definitely okay and acceptable to tell him of your feelings...You're a grad now!
Oh, and as far as how to do it, I feel that honesty is the best policy. Perhaps you could engage him in one of your intellectual conversations and ask him if he would like to accompany you to something simple like coffee or ice cream. Personally, I've never been offended when the girl made the first move. It's actually quite flattering! Good luck!3