I'm going to ask her out after no contact of 4 months and I'm nervous

We used to text a lot, make fun of each other, and hung out a few times before we lost contact because she stopped trying to hang out with me (made excuses).

So absolutely no peep from her for four months.

I reconnected with her a couple weeks ago. She responded well. Just a couple simple texts.

Couple weeks later, I think I'm going to re-initiate again and ask her for drinks later this week. I'm a little nervous. I don't want her to think that I'm just an orbiter/guy who "doesn't get it"...but does it even matter what she thinks? I don't have any expectations (her excuses were probably just her telling me to go away), but I figured that at this point I have nothing to lose. If she says yes, I have a good evening. If she says no, I never had her to begin with and I have other alternatives scheduled that night that I can equally enjoy.

I'm going to ask her in a couple days because I figured she's usually busy on the weekend so my proposal will be lost in the shuffle. So the anticipation is wearing on me a bit (I don't want to be THIS anticipated since she's just a girl after all...no big deal if she says no).

So should I still do it? And if I do, how can I keep myself sane for the next two days before I ask her?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Girls like guys who are persistent and have a certain amount of aggressiveness. I have had guys ask me out for months before finally going out with them. That persistance and aggressiveness is hot. You are right. You have nothing to lose. Ask her out. Just don't take it personally if she says no. And don't give up if she does say no. Just be persistent, but not in a rude and annoying way. Make sure she thinks you still have a life and that you are not desperate, but let her know you want her.

    • Yes. I figured by dropping mid-conversation two weeks ago and not texting her since will show her I have a life (I didn't do it on purpose, I just got caught up in things). I just figured that as long as I put little stake in her reply, then I'll be okay.

    • That desperate thing does bug me a bit, though, because she DID turn me down a four months ago (made excuses) so I don't want to seem like I'm only pursuing her, you know what I mean?

      But I figured enough time has lapsed where it won't matter.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Well your rationale is good. I agree with you, that you have nothing to lose. Just do it and see what happens. Try to keep yourself occupied over the next two days until the time comes. You'll be fine! :)

    Good Luck!


What Guys Said 1

  • Hello,

    Well first thing I need to stress is this, your already out, she stopped contacting, its been 4 months and her responses aren't exactly filled with passion.. my advice is to take what you learnt from the experiance and move on..

    the key is this DONT WASTE TIME TEXTING. next time you see a girl you like, walk to her and spend about 3 min flirting and making her laugh, then GET HER NUMBER, after you get it WALK AWAY, then leave it about 6 days and call her. keep the conversation short and ask her out for a coffee at starbucks. if she agrees DONT contact her again until your face to face.

    dont try to persue old flames, all you do is creep them out, your chance was 4 months ago when her responses to you were quick and fun.. that time has gone and she isn't going to give it back to you..

    Good Luck


    • When I re-initiated, they were "quick and fun" still, so that's why I thought I'd give it another shot. Does it really matter if they think I creep them out when I won't see them again anyway?