Serious question?

I hate surprises, I hate the thought of video cameras, or anything just too awkward. The thought of my man doing a proposal honestly makes me sick, I'm not a romantic type, I have anxiety whatever. He asked me to marry him before and I turned him down I never wanted to get married it wasn't big just a would you marry me I kinda laughed like probably not marriage is a big deal. I just didn't believe he was ready, we have two kids he asked my father for my hand and my mother and all my siblings a year ago. Well I was thinking maybe I'd just do the proposal when I'm ready. Is that too much for a guy? How would that make him feel? Yes or no? Too new aged? Lol


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