My husband starts arguments or I do?

so my husband says he will come home to clean up everything i got off earlier and usually im tired so i said well ima go ahead and start. He says no rest up today so tomorrow when you get off early w can have fun when we go out just put all the dirty clothes in the laundry room. I say ok but ima sleep on the bed room (usually i nap in the living room) because i dont want to be in the middle of you cleaning. He got upset and says why are you moving everything out? I say not everything the clothes. He said well you said everything. Im just like you know what i meant why does he always pick on the little stuff i say just to argue? Then he gets upset like why do i have to lay in the bed instead of living room. Because its weird laying in the middle of you cleaning and thats a lot of noise and your very picky when it comes to cleaning so i can't clean with you but you dont want me to clean by myself. Writing it out makes me think is he obsesive and or controlling? Because the other day i was going to the track with a friend (we are in the army i was helping her but my knee is messed up so i can't run) so out of no where he text me and says he has take this test to a friend on post he then text me says where are you and i have allready left the track and says he was looking for me like i really believe he was trying to check up on me and where i am


Most Helpful Guy

  • Just have good sex with him and talk to him when your on top riding him or other and care about home responsibilities. I'm married to a nurse with higher income than me and I do more than her at home sometimesplus I work and fix stuff around the house, and much more. She goes to the gym a lot I tell her not to forget she has 2 kids and a husband and chores, she gets mad but listens to me in a way. Her mom even says I do a lot. But when it comes to sex I forget about everything she has me crazy in love whooped. I tell that I need sex and not a quick one , she understands and we do have good sex when we can.


Most Helpful Girl

  • From this perspective he seems to be a little too over barring and that would drive me NUTS. That's great that your husband likes to come home and clean. More power to him! I think maybe the best thing to do is to tell him when this situations is happening "when you do___________ it makes me feel ____________."
    In this case, "Honey, when you confront me about saying everyone instead of laundry or why I want to sleep in the bedroom instead of the living room it makes me feel confused because I don't know why it is upsetting to you."
    Hopefully if you say it like that he will understand how freaking stupid his argument is. Maybe also when he ask you to do something just say OK, and if you want to sleep in the bed room just sleep in the bedroom. Maybe he feels by telling him what you are doing you are trying to argue? I'm not sure.
    He probably just came to see you att the track and was worried when he didn't see you.

    • But if i said ok and just went into the bedroom anyways he come in anways and says why are you in here and he has a history of tracking my phone and things like that

    • Seems unhealthy. Definitely think you need to talk to him about it if your not okay with it. He shouldn't feel the need to keep tabs on you like that.
      Honestly I would suggest counciling if it's not getting better. Otherwise it will just be a lot of stress on you to be worried about everything you say and do 24-7.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Let me invite you to ask a different question: instead of trying to decide whose fault the argument is, ask yourself:

    Why would you ever participate in one?

    You really don't have to. I don't think anything ever got solved in an argument that couldn't have been achieved much easier in a normal conversation.

    I'm not being facetious here. I've been in many arguments myself but I gave it up and I'm much much happier as a result.

    What do you think about that idea?

    • I have tried that he just goes into why are you ignoring me why can't we talk about it when nothing is wrong anf oh so i can't tell you when i have problem and goes on and on for hours

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    • Yes it does and thats what i do and he goes into im not upset i don't understand why we can't talk about it now and it just turns into a whole nother thing

    • I know it can be channelging to do this but you must start to disregard his feelings, over which you have no control, and start guiding your own mind.

      When I find someone upset with me, I do nothing except acknowledge what they said, and then retreat, and meditate. I suggest you try meditation. It's the only way to get to know your own spirit truly, and with time, you will become much more confident, like a big cruise ship at sea; you barely feel the movements of the ocean.

      Let me know if you want simple instructions, and I'll give them to you.

  • you do, it's always the woman

  • Men most likely won't start an argument, unless it's really serious enough to. Women will do it, just to do it. They find it funny


What Girls Said 0

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