Is it wrong of me to be mad?

Basically- my husbands trashy little sis (14yr old, and sorry but she's a complete beech. To everyone. But especially me. I worked so hard to get on her good side, took her shopping bought stuff etc.. but nope.) wanted to crash at our place after she's done trick or treating. I watched her tell him she's gonna crash here (tell, not ASK) with me right there. To my surprise, he immediately said yes without even asking me? Or just consultinng with me? Of course i wouldn't say no, but im your partner.. u can't just make decisions like that without me.

wouldn't be surprised if she threw a party. Since i won't even be home til later (he shoulda asked me this too ). Plus he knows what she's like..

then he gave his key to her! We argued over this situation.
but dont i have the right to be mad here?


Most Helpful Guy

  • That's a tough one because I know he's your husband, but that's family. I can see why he would choose not to make her feel unwelcome by having a discussion first.

    Maybe he should have discussed it with you (maybe definitely?) but I think you need to be a little more understanding here. I would hate for a member of my family to feel unwanted by my significant other. Actually, I know exactly what that's like. My ex-wife used to hate my family and my parents would feel so unwelcome around her. Once she became an ex-wife, I knew that I was never going down that path again. Just consider that a little before you decide to make your husband choose.

    • Its not choosing. If I were him, i would have said something like "okay we'll talk later" to her. Then id go to him and ask me what time he will be home, if it works, etc.
      Not every time she comes over will be convenient. A husband should know to talk to his wife first, and vice versa.
      Because now I gotta rearrange my whole plan for the day. And thats OK.
      But his sis hates me. For no reason lol. Been nothing but nice to her. Having someone like that in my house BEFORE im home makes me a bit uncomfortable.

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    • Especially giving the keys away.
      First- thats a breach with our landlord. Second, I am not comfortable with ANYONE walking into our home alone. Not even my OWN family. I would have said yeah she can come of course but I will leave work earlier or something (I am able to do that).
      If you knew her history, you'd understand. She is very VERY rebellious. She pushed MY mom down a flight of stairs. She tried poisioning my sister..

      Make sense now?

    • Also, he pays his parents' mortgage. And half our rent.
      While we struggle over herr and he admits we are struggling. he can easily negotiate maybe paying his parents a bit less to help us out. But he is too scared to stand up for us. Yeah those are his parents.. but id do that in a heartbeat for us if I were him.

      He puts his family first before me. I dont want to sound selfish, but I feel I do deserve something here. We never had a honeymoon because they needed money. We gave up our 6 year dream because they needed money. They have power over him and always manipulate him.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, you are. He needs to tell his sister that you are also in charge of the house.


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What Guys Said 3

  • That place is 50% yours too. You have a say on who stays and who doesn't.

  • He should just do what his little sister wants. She is probably jealous that he spends more time with you and less time with her. Maybe do a game night once per week and invite her so you all spend time together. No matter what she does or says, just keep being nice to her. Wear her down with kindness.
    She is family, so you'll have to deal with her for a long time, so it's better to get along if at all possible.

  • You always have the right to argue, but in this situation you shouldn't. He knew you would agree, so why do you want him to run those laps?

    • He only knows id agree because im a nice person. What about MY plans? What if i wasn't gonna be home til midnight or something? His sis is known for rebelling. She will do whatever in our home without caring. Even drugs. She hates me because i am NOT like her. wouldn't it make me a bit uncomfortable? He should have approached me first to see what my plans are. To see my opinion. My thoughts. I would have said "thats cool babe, ill be home around 6ish is that fine?" Or something. I just wanna be able to give my input to my husband about OUR home.

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    • Wow dude, totally wish you could give me the harsh advice I need to hear on my own relationship because this is spot on

    • @junebug22 you can ask, and I will try to answer :D

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