So I've been married for a few years now and I'm having trouble with a couple things. My husband all of a sudden wants to go to strip clubs. The first time he went with his father, and then came back to get me, and of course I freaked. Had a mental breakdown for about a week and then was like fuck it I've never been so I don't really know. I didn't have a bad time, but the second time I went was on a Friday night and there was just everything I hoped I would never see (men acting the way I had imagined) and something just snapped in me and I realized that I did not want to be a part of any of it. Had another breakdown. On my husbands birthday, he had asked me to go with him and his friend. Now my options were, to go and be miserable or not to go and he would stay angry at me (he hadn't talked to me the whole day) so I went. He had a shot after I had told him not to and I made a scene. Ever since this whole thing started he has been very critical with me and expecting me to be overly sexual towards him, or I'm not doing it right, or I'm not dressed up for him ever. My body is too small, so are my boobs, he doesn't like the way I move. This has NEVER happened!!! He thinks he had done nothing to hurt my feelings in any way. This all happened in a 3 week period and I've realized that even if I was everything he could possibly ask for, it probably wouldn't be enough. How on earth do I just forget about it and move on with our relationship? I've debated leaving but I'm hoping that it doesn't come to that. He thinks that strip clubs and getting hammered is completely normal, but I want to settle and have his children, not party like we don't care about tomorrow.
Most Helpful Guy
I think that it was considerate of your husband not hide the fact he wanted to go strip clubs but also to include you to show you how it is and that he isn't going to cheat.
Your communication skills to your husband on the subject is poor. After you felt you didn't want to have a part in this and had your second breakdown you should have told him you don't like strip clubs and would feel great if he didn't go either. I think you are being overly sensitive, but should talk him about how you feel about strip clubs and him going.0
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Most Helpful Girl
You guys are at two very different stages in your life. You are incompatible. It sucks that you found this out after getting married but I still think the best thing for you to do is leave. Aside from wanting different things, he disrespects your very valid problems and feelings about his behavior. He puts you down. He doesn't respect your boundaries (not being ok with him going to strip clubs). Do you think this is the way a good partner should treat you?5