Do you think your finances should be kept separate when you are married?

I hear a lot of married couples, women mostly, bring up the fact that their husband is very uncooperative when it comes to taking up some financial responsibilities. I'm not saying that is the case all the time but that's just my experience and I know finances are a touchy issue.

  • No, what's mine is theirs and vice versa
    58%(18)51%(34)Vote44%(16)
  • Yes separate. They don't need to have access to my money if I pay for my bills.
    42%(13)49%(33)Vote56%(20)
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sylvia Porter says married couples should have three accounts -- his, hers, and ours. Each partner needs to have money that is all their own. It's ridiculous for adults to be asking each other: "Can I get new golf clubs? Can I go visit my sister?" No need to fight over stuff like that. The joint account is used for joint expenses -- rent, utilities, vacations, entertainment, ... The contribution to the joint account doesn't have to be equal. If one partner earns more, they should contribute more. If one partner earns a lot more, then they could cover almost all the joint expenses. If only one is working, then split the discretionary income so the non-working partner does not feel like a beggar. My wife isn't working right now. I deposit money into her account and a joint account every month, and the rest into my account. We talk about the "we" stuff,, and never ask each other about the "me" stuff.

    This is good for children too. Teens should get enough allowance to cover all their expenses -- clothing, toiletries, music, entertainment, etc.

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    • ^^ This, pretty much exactly.

      Also, if either spouse is a freelancer, then she/he absolutely MUST have a separate account for business purposes. If all that money is going into a joint account -- even temporarily -- then, in the case of an audit, the IRS (= the US tax authority) would probably rule that business and personal funds had been "commingled" and would disallow basically all tax deductions involving any of that money.

Most Helpful Girl

  • whats the point of marriage if everything is separate. I thought it's a union between two people. Personally, I want to share everything with my husband and him to do the same with me. We're in love not roommates.

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What Guys Said 14

  • I keep it very separate right now, she has no job, brings in no income, I handle all of the bills and everything else. I made a deal with her I told her she could have access when she starts helping, until that time happens, she had no access. there are two reasons for this, when she and I first got together she ran her bank in to the hole and I had to fix it, not once, not twice, but three times. it's about trusting her, and right now that element is not present, I also don't like the idea of damaged credit.

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    • Does she maintain your home? She should have some money of her own.

    • she and I both maintain our home. and to be honest if she makes money of her own than she keeps it. I also don't deny her, I also will not tolerate any further negative accounts.

  • you know a union is not union when there is no trust.
    communication needs to happen and joint decisions to be made.

    you are not roommates are are husband and fife

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  • i think there should be a joint account that covers things regarding the family but i think each should also have separate accounts

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  • I think after they each pay their half of the rent and utilities, then each person pays for their own phone and car expenses. Then whatever each person has left is their own spending money.
    Any expenses related to the kids should be split.
    So if one person wants to drive an economy car and have a flip phone, but work less hours and enjoy more free time, and the other person chooses to work more hours to afford a BMW and have an $800 smart phone, that is each of their choices.
    Seems fair that way to me.

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  • It's my responsibility to provide for my family. However, things like cars or anything materialistic that I buy for me... is mine. What she buys for her... is for her.

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  • You need a third option that says there's a "your's, mine, and also our's". The joint account is good for things like bills and saving up for stuff. But you should be able to do with your money mostly to do what you please.

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  • keep some to yourself and share the other bit. a shared account for shared expenses and a private account for other stuff. makes it easier to deal with shared tasks like paying bills. and a relationship based on trust should be able to handle the private accounts. if you feel that you can't trust your partner with money you got bigger problems than money

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  • Ummm it's more the case of divorce then anything in marriage what's mine is hers but the thing is what's hers isn't mine because she's housewifey she doesn't work until the kids are 20 ish. In divorce it should be separate what's mine is mine and hers is hers.

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  • Given the amazing high rate of divorce, yes. Not to mention the sometimes very different views on money couples may have, some being impulsive spends while others are savings for retirement.

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  • I think they could share an account for shared expenses and all that. I think it's healthy to save up your own money as well.

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  • If your not all in together why are you married.

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  • Yes to prevent theft better.

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  • While I enjoy being the supplier in the relationship, if you're going to have a family having funds that aren't shared is going to be more of a hassle than not sharing.

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  • I tyred the what mine is yours theory and she imbesalled over a million dollars from my companies so next time I think I'm going to go with i pay for all household expenses and give her a allowance and if she needs more money ill lend it to her or she can get a job and buy her own shit

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What Girls Said 9

  • I think it depends on the individual couple but overall, I think keeping everything separate could get complicated. When paying bills, handling other expenses, and spending money, it makes more sense to me to have one account so both people can stay on the same page about their finances. Communication is really important in that aspect.

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  • My husband and I have an account, they're linked so I can see his and he can see mine, we have a savings account we both can see everything that is in there... My aunt on my husband's side her and her husband have a joint account, and there's another one but she never knows what's in there and he goes to the casinos I don't believe in that... if he knows she should know, they are married

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  • we did separate accounts, it pissed me off. we did joint. it pissed him off. we did a yours mine and ours, that just never seemed to line up. so we're going back to separate, but each of us is taking over certain specific bills instead of 50/50 on everything (it still ends up being about the same). besides our own individual bills (credit cards and we have pay as you go cell phones so we pay separately anyway), I am hoping this works out in the end. we've been married 6 years and we're still figuring things out

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  • My grandma told me to get a prenup to avoid losing what's mine and if you have doubts rn trust your instincts! Plus in today's day and age its rare to share accounts in my opinion unless one person is not working.

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  • I would expect to pool resources.

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  • Yes since that's one of the main reasons my parents are currently divorcing

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  • I'm not sharing and this is why I want a man who allows my independence.

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  • Yeah. Because you never know when your partner is using you for your money. Plus if you get a divorce you don't have to share the money unless you're in a certain state.

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  • I think each partner should be open with their finances. What is the purpose of being married if you can't trust your partner with money?

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    • agreed... my husband and i have separate accounts but they are all linked so you can see both, plus the savings is on both credit card is one, sadly though

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