Are marriage and monogamy really essential?

Why is it that so many people find it so difficult to stay faithful to one partner? Or if one does not cheat, then why do we find it necessary or feel the need to move from person to person? On the other end of the spectrum, why do we feel the need for marriage.

Monogamy in the animal kingdom is incredibly rare. Some animals are socially monogamous meaning they raise their offspring but still copulate with other animals. It is estimated that 90% of songbirds do this exact thing. There is a large part of the animal kingdom that does this exact thing. The only animals that don't are swans, beavers and a few others. In these instances, it has less to do with love and more to do with the need for another animal to run the family unit, or in a beaver's case, to run the dams. So are humans meant to commit to each other for the rest of our lives with one person? The male instinct is to spread his seed so he can spread his genetics. Although we have contraception to prevent conception, and therefore the need to spread the genetics isn't acted upon, is there still a need to "spread the seed," and mate with as many mates as possible? On the other side, because humans take longer to grow and mature (18 years) it is more likely that we need that other person to raise that child (psychologically speaking) but there have been many successful single parent families.

As for marriage- why do we need marriage? I feel as if many of us feel marriage is important because the church has told us so for centuries, and so it is so ingrained in our society that we all meet, fall in love and that the next logical step is marriage. Marriage symbolizes a life long commitment- its just written down on paper, and jewelry is exchanged. Well, whether or not that piece of paper is signed and whether or not jewelry is exchanged has no effect on if a couple stays together. The paper may not be there, but the commitment can be. Why do we put so much importance on an idea that has no effect on whether or not a couple actually stays together?

I would love your opinions.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • well I think we can't always use animals as a guide of human action as we have instincts but also have the choice not to act on them. its natural to build a bond with another person as human beings. I think its this bond and a sence of loyalty we have that makes us want to be monogamous. whether this is realistic or not I don't truly know. I'd like to believe that its possible because ultimatley that's what I want out of life is just someone to share it with. even if it is idealistic it's still a good goal and hopefully achievable. our strength and separation from animals is our ability of emotion and empathy , and to make choices due to emotion and empathy.

    • Ive yet to encounter a monogamous man. My parents have been monogamous, yet have been together since high school so their relationship is juvenal. Also, after many years of being together, are you really together because you want to be with each other, or are you together because that's how its been for so many years? Not all the people that divorce hate each other, some just became friends without being lovers anymore. Maybe we are meant for friendships and companionships but temp. commitment

  • Marriage benefits the person that want's to have children. It keeps their mate financially and physically bound to them so as a woman, I really don't see why your against it, but whatever, there have been stranger things like feminists completely wiping out chilvery (which is awesome for men)

    you right but, the way things are set up there is absolutely no reason for men to get married, the laws are so swayed against them that there is no point whatsoever and you have to have some self hatred to want to get married as a man

    • Its not that I'm against marriage or anything, lol. I do question it though. But how can there be reasons for women to get married but no reason for men to get married? I guess what I was saying, is what if there was just life long commitment without the contract? Or what if you just stayed together until the kid was raised and then you go your separate ways and mate again? What if that was how it was supposed to be?

    • That would be great for the guy! a guy would love nothing more than to pop in and out whenever he felt like it and leave the mom to do all the work. Like I said, this is why marriage mostly benefits the woman. When a guy gets married he is expected to hang around and take care of the child while the mommy runs off for coffee with her girlfriends so what your suggesting is perfect for guys, yes, it's awesome but strange to hear it coming from a girls mouth that's all... yes that's what I want

What Girls Said 0

Be the first girl to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

Loading... ;