I have been married to my current husband for about 4 1/2 years now. We were together for a year when I found out I was pregnant with "my" second child and a couple weeks later he asked me to marry him. I have been married twice before and have a daughter with my previous marriage. I did not want to marry so soon after only dating a year because I had been through all this and was not so sure I was in love enough to really keep a marriage. After I found out I was pregnant, I was hounded by his family to get married, as I would look like a whore to my x husband and he may try to take my older daughter away, this scared me so I agreed to marry him after he asked me. My in-laws totally planned my wedding, I was left out of everything. I felt like I was in a blur and paralyzed as I walked down the isle, my legs trying to run, my head telling not to do it, but I made myself go numb and did it anyway. The 6 years I've known Harry (my current husband) he has been a drunk, among other things I won't mention and has made me at times feel extremely miserable. A couple weeks again, I finally asked him for a divorce because he told me once if I didn't see myself here in 10 years then I should just let him move on. He fell apart when I told him I couldn't love him like I should and needed to move on. He left for the bar and I left for my mom's house.
After a few hours he called and said that he would do anything to help save our marriage. He wanted me to come home so we could talk about it and get some counseling. I came home and he agreed to stop drinking and stop the other bad habits I am not to fond of and do more with the girls and me.
It's been over a week now and I am still just not really here, I guess you would say for lack of better words. My oldest daughter is not happy, she was very upset when we came back, my youngest daughter is to young to really understand, she is only 4. He has stopped drinking from what I can tell, but he is putting the blame on me when bills can't get paid because I hurt him last week and so he had to take the rest of the week off, cutting our paycheck short and putting us behind on bills.
In myself, I don't want to try anymore. I'm done. I didn't want to get married in the first place, just figured that I could make myself love him. He is a decent guy in most since...he works hard, tries his best to provide for his family.
I really want to leave, to make myself a life...with my girls. To peruse my goals, with out his criticism. We can't afford to go to counseling, I know that and he knows that, but I don't see any other way to make this work. I just would like some "expert" advise I guess you would say. Am I crazy? Am I being selfish? Should I just keep my mouth shut and go through life dumb and not feeling anymore? Should I end it and try to move on in life? Technically I've been married since I
Most Helpful Girl
No matter how far you've gone down the wrong road - turn back!
Get out of this marriage before it sucks the rest of the life out of you and your kids.
This man has problems and they are not yours. He treats you crappy then suddenly turns all nice when you decide to leave, typical abusive behavior.
You know you deserve better, go out and get it.