Is there anyone left in the world who wants a traditional marriage?

I strive to submit to my husband. I want my responsibilities to be him and the kids and the house. He works hard to provide for us. Every or almost every time I choose not go with what he wants I find out I was so wrong in the situation. Don't love to admit that lol. Am I literally the only person left who likes the traditional marriage?

Level of priorities:
God
Husband
Kids
Church and community

I used to be so hardcore feminist liberal wah wah wanted to be right all the time until I started being honest with myself. My husband needs to be the leader of this family. My role is to help and support him. I want a humble position. Many of us women would do well to close our mouth and listen a little more. Show respect to him.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Most modern day women demand that men are something that is impossible to achieve.
    They want a guy who is loyal, honest, respectful, empethetic, compromising, emotionally supportive, etc
    BUT when they have a good guy they grow cold on him because all of those are weaknesses.
    Women are drawn to bad men with the hopes they will not be bad with them.

    You say to want to submit but you are doing the opposite. You are putting the weight of demands of personality traits and demands on how you want a guy to be and for that you are willing to stay silent.
    THAT is the opposite of submissive therefore if a guy fills all of these requests you want he's someone you will lose respect for.

    This is why traditional marriage doesn't work... or any marriage.

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    • You are very confused. But thanks for your opinion

    • It's possible. I've been without a woman for almost 5yrs. Unlike women, mens brains cannot function correctly without a women. They turn into psychopaths, or weird, or awkward, or get obsessive, suicidal, etc.

      I'm probably about half of those things.

  • Well I'm not religious, so god first seems wrong to me either way, but hubby before the kids? Really? If making your husband king is your thing, cool. No judgement, no support either, to each there own. But seriously, kids are first, always. And man who wants you to put him ahead of your kids, is selfish.

    Isn't the basic idea of a traditional marriage that each spouse is to be respected at what try provide? Equality in love and respect. What the actual roles are changes with society, and every marriage, but I feel like most peo people e want that basic idea.

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    • Taking care of kids needs of course, but my husband will run the show. Not my kids. Therefore, husband, then kids.

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    • And you got married right before, or after that?

      by the way, thanks for your honesty. My wife was raised in a very religious family (lutherin), and has struggled to believe any of it... ever. To me faith is fasinating, though I personally don't beleive.

    • I got married a year after I was saved. Trust me I understand. I questioned for years and years and there was always something holding me back. I remember the main thing was I didn't understand why gay people couldn't be gay. I just knew it was natural and stuff. But I'm telling you that night I felt the holy spirit inside me and everything changed. God made himself known to me. And there's many details I could tell you but I've been on your side and I get it. It's just not something you can fully grasp until you're there. It's a journey though. I've grown so much in God in these two years

Most Helpful Girls

  • I'd be perfectly happy to marry a good (kind, warm and sensible) man and take the submissive role. I'd rather be the one at home taking care of things. Though I'd hopefully have the chance to have hobbies/part time work too. As I think it's a woman's responsibility to make sure she could look after herself independently again if need be. I don't want kids (well maybe wouldn't rule out adoption) tho so taking care of the place all day might get dull and part time work income would be wise I think. I am a christian but I think it's important to remember that narcissists flock to spiritual hubs such as church halls and as such u have to be careful not to be taken advantage of there. I think its possible to combine old fashioned values with modern thinking. But u must be careful to marry a good person and be smart enough not to put yourself In a position where submissiveness and care giving becomes subservience and total depedence.

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  • The first portion of the equation is that the economy is different and most homes need 2 incomes to support kids and pay for college funds , retirement etc...

    If you want someone religious I would go to Christian mingle. But you only get to be a house wife if he has a damn good income... and you kind of have to go to a Christian site or a supper religious community to find a dude like that...

    Most regular dudes who believe in god aren’t that conservative. They are ok with a wife that works and they tackle problems together . The men I know see their wife as their partner in crime and as an equal. They tackle duties together , one of the reps I know brings his wife to his wine tastings, he cooks for her , and she is helping him during the summer when his assistant goes on vacation ( she is off because she is a teacher ) . Other men I know are also sweet because they help their wives with their groceries while they are at yoga. That’s great because being a full time mommy burns women out.

    I prefer the new marriage format because it allows women liberties to have aspirations of their own and it allows the couple to have a more balanced power dynamic.

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    • Whatever floats your boat. But I will say that my husband is the most generous person. And seeing him as my leader is attractive and makes me feel safe and secure

    • ? Seeing anyone as your leader is a horrible idea , it’s a good thing to have mutual respect in a relationship and limits. Like theoretically what if he wanted to move far away from your family or if he made your family convert to IBLP like the Dougars? I don’t think you would be cool with it.

    • I make my opinion known on everything I care about. Seeing him as my leader is the best thing for me. He takes amazing care of me. He listens and respects my opinion. The love he has for me is amazing honestly

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What Guys Said 34

  • i seriously cannot make sense of your perception

    Your first priority is "GOD " , Seriously.. something that does not exist..

    Your Second priority is "HUSBAND", Seriously.. Some one linked to you approved by the law as your partner in marriage..
    husband does not me having an actual alive love relationship with the person..

    Your 3rd Priority.. "KID" , Finally you found something that is useful but you placed it on 3rd place.. instead of first..
    and you do not have kids unless you are financially independent and can take care of them.. if you do not change your priority then.. there is no point in kids.. they will grow screwed up mentally..

    Church and community.- "to help others you need to make yourself capable of helping yourself first." how do you plan on boosting community if you have no skill or money on your hand..

    MY PRIORITIES

    MONEY
    WIFE
    KIDS
    SOCIAL CONNECTIONS
    MY PROJECTS

    I am cool with any kind of marriage, underwater, in space, traditional church..
    I REALLY DO NOT CARE HOW THE MARRIAGE IS... AS LONG AS THE GIRL IS OF MY CHOICE..
    AND either one of up proposed and other one accepted..
    AND i will leave everything and design the way she wants
    after all "IT IS HER BIG DAY AND SHE CAN MAKE IT WHICHEVER WAY SHE WANTS IT TO.."

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    • How do you know that God doesn't exist?

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    • well one step at a time..
      or tell me your coords , i will get a ride in a drop-ship...

    • Just tell me maybe in PM..
      i want to listen

  • You seem like you'd make any guy a good wife. Help spread the message to the other girls :P

    At this age though, and with marriage laws being this bad, don't be surprised men don't wanna get married anymore. You can thank the feminists for that

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    • Thanks. I think my husband is happy! I agree with you on the laws and feminist influence thing. It is unfortunate. Men and women are seriously missing out on how great marriage done right can be

    • As long as you're doing you're job taking care of the house, kids and him, I think he should be quite happy! Another issue is that a housewife nowadays has it so easy, the modern woman feels like they don't have to do any work at all and pass it off to the man, who already works to provide for the family.

      I've seen videos where people calculated the cost of keeping a housewife around vs doing things alone while living single and hiring help. It's much more cost-effective to do the latter than deal with someone who does nothing and endlessly consumes resources

  • I like everything except god on the first place. i would put Love in the first place, and when i say Love i mean, love you share with your husband, then god maybe...
    you're good woman, really rare type. good luck :D

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    • Thanks. But I can assure you that God is numero one. Everything I have is from Him

  • Go back to 1850 where you are coming from. Please don't take anyone with you. Learn to respect yourself.

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    • I do respect myself but thanks ;) you're a bit confused

  • I don't know if you are the last traditionalist on earth but I sure hope not. If women and men would both acquire a little humility and gratitude when it came to relationships, we would all be a lot happier.
    ~JSmith

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  • It has been my direct experience that the women who proclaim the loudest that they want a "traditional" marriage are the ones who are LYING the most. They don't want a traditional marriage. They want a man who will earn a lot of money and do everything THEY want the man to do. The woman wants to be in charge but project the ILLUSION that the man is in charge--to the outside world.

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  • @05Jueey
    "Is there anyone left in the world who wants a traditional marriage?"

    Feminism was the final nail in the coffin that traditional marriage is inside right now

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  • try getting out of the 40s-50s maybe you'll find someone

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    • 😂 we're happily married and I have friends who agree with me but thanks!

  • I mean, not everyone is a Christian or even believes in that faith. I'm one of them. I also doubt I would ever get married. There are a lot of reasons why it probably would never happen, but I won't get into them.
    I guess if you want to live in the 50's, by all means go for it.
    I'm sure there are men in the world that share your ideology though. I'm also sure that they go to church and are the more devout members of the faith.

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  • I have a marriage like that. She a great Godly woman

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  • I'm sure you're not alone. I read recently that more women are choosing to be non-working wives and mothers. But more men are choosing that too. I dig that. 100 years ago, women were entering the workforce en masse for the first time, and now men can choose to be stay at home dads. Look how far we've come!
    There's a ways to go yet. I hope I live long enough to witness true equality in the US.

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  • Not me! I'm wanting to get married to in the church I grew up in and it's also the same church I go to now. I'm glad you @05Jueey placed God at the top of your list. God Bless You!

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  • hell yeah i always wanted that, but i dont want my wife to treat me like a king lol, i mean i dont want her to working all the time, i would want her to help her in the kitchen and house chores whenever i get the time

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    • My husband likes when I worship him. It's quite exciting

    • well if she does it happily and have no problem with it, then sure

  • There's plenty of guys that want a marriage like that.

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    • I should caveat that by saying that most of them don't live in Western countries.

  • Lel must be another religious virgin guy. I don't think this will make your fantasies come to life.

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  • The majority of men that I know would still be happy to have a traditional marriage, we've all just accepted that the odds are against it though

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  • Disregarding my personal opinions on why god is above your husband let alone your *kids* : There's probably a lot of men who would like that

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  • Never, I want my relationship to be a partnership. Same as my parents.

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  • The idea of marriage must stop. Long term work better.

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  • You are a dying breed, wish there were more like you.

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  • I don't want any marriage for the reason nobody wants one

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  • Me.
    Great thread

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  • Good. More women need to be like you.

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  • It depends on the country

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  • I know I don't want a life like that.

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  • I want mine to be equal. A partnership.

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  • Nope

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  • All religious people want that

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  • nope. i am never getting married.

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  • Sounds like you've got things in the right order.
    And yes I am a man of traditional marriage, I was married alomost 24 years until she passed from cancer.

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What Girls Said 22

  • no sorry its your beliefs though... just make sure its what YOU want not your parents, spouse, etc... but it sounds a bit like you're being put down... you could settle for an equal relationship? but if thats what you want...

    Also, why aren't you on your priorities list? You should be bc you're a priority. you're a human being and i love you, you should be on that list hon

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    • I was referring to priorities other than myself. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of others. I dont feel like Im being put down. I am so honoured to be able to serve people

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    • You should give this sort of way of life a chance. You really should. You might be surprised. I guess it's hard to say for sure for anyone until they're in it. But believe me I used to be right there with you. I would ragingly fight anyone who thought a man should lead. I couldn't even grasp the concept

  • Marriage is meant to be a partnership. No need for submission. You discuss things throughly together like the adults you are. You respect each other’s opinions and make decisions as a pair. No one should ever feel silenced by either partner. That’s be pretty disrespectful.

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    • I'm confused how I'm silenced by submitting? My husband almost always asks my opinion on issues big and small

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    • Again you're missing the point. Being quiet and listening is a choice. No one is silencing anyone

    • Well no need to interrupt certainly. Is that what you think many women do to their partners? Because I can agree no one male or female should cut people off when conversing. Both people do their share of listening and then being heard themselves

  • That’s not something I look for. If the woman wants to be a stay at home mom, it’s okay as long as the man makes enough money to support the family. He shouldn’t be considered superior though. I don’t think a family needs a single leader, the man and woman should have an equal say in things. There’s no reason the woman should always agree with and submit to her husband. Men can be wrong too.

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    • Men are wrong many times :) thats not what its about. I submit even when I disagree. He happens to be right 95 percent of the time, but it is about submitting, not agreeing all the time

    • I don’t see why I should submit if he’s in the wrong.

    • I've learned that butting heads continuously and resentment isn't fun. If he's a man who's understanding and wise you shouldn't have a problem. You have to let things go at times

  • Shouldn't be submissive, you guys should be partners not a leader and a follower lol

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  • Well for me I'd say I'm somewhat a transitionalist. I plan on saving myself up for marriage and I also want to raise kids ( I'll be a stay at home mom till they are in school). That's about it for me, I came from a household where my dad was the head of the house abd controlled everything my mom and us kids did to the point where she ended up becoming mentally insane. I know better than to submit to another human being. I just want to be in an honest, respectable, and trusting relationship, one that I feel like I can be myself and not be ashamed.

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    • Submitting is the most beautiful thing, once you get used to it. Its hard to do in this society when we are so pounded with the feminist thing, but I am never ashamed of my position. I am extremely honoured

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    • Team members have their designated roles ;)

    • It's not for me but do you boo

  • Sometimes men should listen to their wives too. Stephen King's novel Carrie is what launched his career & made him rich and famous. & He had thrown the story in the trash after he wrote the first scene, until his wife fished it out & read it, liked it, and insisted he go on with it.

    If Stephen King hadn't listened to his wife, he wouldn't have become rich and famous.

    Anyway personally I wouldn't mind submitting to a man as long as the man genuinely deserves it (he has more responsibility than me, takes care of me, etc). But I also have Dependent Personality Disorder, so.

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    • Do you think that's a great example? Stephen King has repeatedly voiced his disdain for fame and he's been criticized for being standoffish and even rude with media personnel. Of over 100 written works, he's sold film & TV rights to a little more than half, and he's a philanthropist. Not traits of people who crave great wealth. I would argue that his wife was more interested in wealth and fame than he was, but she didn't have the talent. So, who should be thanking who?

    • I would hope a man would listen to the wisdom of his wife! :)

    • @Chaz269 When he tells of the story of his wife encouraging him to write Carrie, he does it with gratitude. He even bought her a gift out of gratitude once the money first started coming in.

  • I am like that in all of my relationships, that's how I raised and that's what I do.

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  • no u r the only 1 out of 8 billion people in this world.

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  • I’d want a traditional marriage, only if my significant other is able to comfortably support us on his income. I’d still love to work from home though and raise the kids we’ll have! I’m not very religious, but I think that my list of importance would be:

    -Husband/Kids
    -Myself
    -Community/ Social

    My boyfriend is a submissive in the sense that he can’t make his own decisions, even when I argue with him that he needs to. He won’t budge until I decide something for him LOL And since my boyfriend is very enclosed and introverted, the things we argue about are things that he doesn’t seem to fully grasp, so i’m usually right in those cases.

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  • I do want a semi-traditional marriage at least, but I think my (future) husband and me should both serve each other, even if he has the position of 'head' of the family. We should be a team, even if we would decide to take on different roles. We should both love and respect each other unconditionally, and we should both strive to be a better wife/husband to the other.
    Of course I would always talk to him about important decisions, and he would give me his opinion on it, but in the end it is MY decision to make, and he will respect that too. He will not make decisions for me (or the other way around for that matter). That said, I think everyone will have different views on how both parties should behave in a relationship. As long as you both agree on it.

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  • They exist women like you. But it is not for me. I rather work and be able to live without a men.

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  • Nothing wrong with feeling that way especially if he supports that

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  • I’m same with my husband but little extra

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  • No. Traditional marriage is retarded.

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  • No, I imagine there are many people like you.

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  • Hell yeah 🙌

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  • Not me

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  • I had an traditional wedding

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  • How are you doing

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  • When we don't have a good leader we start leading ourselves, that is where feminism came from. I'm not a feminist but I understand why we have it.

    When mean lead women and made all the decisions they were selfish and cruel. Kind of like when a man abandons his child so the mom has to do the work of parenting as if she were the mom AND the dad. You makeup for what you don't have when you're lacking in something. Now everyone has gone overboard. It'd be nice if things were they way it was "supposed" to be, because traditional marriages aren't bad but everything is all out of whack now. I don't know many decent people of this generation, but good luck to you.

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  • Okay i was sitting here about to answer with a supportive answer of yes, there's many men like that and blah blah blah...
    Until that last paragraph. Maybe you want that but do NOT say all women need to be like that as well. Do NOT act like what is best for you is best for the rest of us. not all of us want to submit and obey. Some women do and i respect that want UNTIL one of you act like thats the only right way to act and we're all rebellious and wrong.

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