My boyfriend and I have been together for a year, marriage has been a big topic, but the downfall is I'm 18 and he's 21. And he wanted it, and once I realized I would like to, he jumped back. now I feel dumb because he doesn't want to anymore. I know we should wait, maybe I'm being a teen and being naive! but this is it, I've never had anyone in life like this. help!


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What Guys Said 2

  • Perhaps this is something you really want to think about, you are only 18! Is marriage now at this early age your only next step in life?

    We were 23 when we thought we had to get married because we thought we were going to have a baby, and even at that age, I think both of us thought of things like:

    1) how will this impact my career

    2) will I still be able to reach my life goals? [travel to as many countries. etc.]

    3) have I done everything that I can only do when I am still single?

    Imagine the rest of your life and the things you will miss after being married and then perhaps you will be able to answer your own question.

    You can always get married later on but you can never get your teenage days once it's passed, and there will be other guys considering you are only 18 so wait!

    • Can't be said any better than that. Marriage is not just getting married and having a big party; you'll have many other things to think about like maintaining a home, paying bills, finding a job, etc. Best to think it over, and believe me, you'll meet plenty of other guys. I dated a girl for 4 years and we were about to get married, and it didn't work out; at the time I thought I would never meet somebody like her, and well, I met somebody even better 3 years later.

  • I don't understand what you have a problem with marriage for. Marriage is a win/win for women. If it lasts you get a life with a person you enjoy being with. If it breaks up, you get half his shit, alimony checks for life or until you decide to marry another man, and child support if children are involved.

    I think he backed off because he probably just thought talking about marriage was enough to keep you interested in him. Typical of a lot of young guys. But when you started getting more into it he started second guessing himself.

    You both need to just chill and live a little more of life. I give all the women I'm with 4 years before I even think about having them move in with me. No one I've been with has ever lasted that long. Imagine if I knew these women for only a year and married them and then broke up? Not only would I be homeless right now, I'd be paying them to live in my house as well.

    You just got to love divorce.

    I suggest you both try and give yourself a test to see if you could even be married with each other. Time is the best indicator. People always grow and change. And you need to realize if you can both accept that.


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