Am I Doing This Right?

A guy I have known for years and we were always friends. We were never together, either he had a girlfriend or I had a boyfriend. Anyway few months ago he joined the marines and we would text back and forth. He got leave and came home over the 4th of July with me picking him up at the airport. We are both single no girlfriend/boyfriend and we got pretty close. We had sex 3 times while he was here and we decided to become boyfriend/girlfriend. We are 21 by the way. We talked about getting engaged, me moving to San Deigo etc etc. He is coming home later today again for a couple of days before he gets shipped to Iraq on Saturday.

He wants us to get formally engaged tomorrow so he knows I'm his for the year or better he will be gone.

The more I have thought about this I think this is not a good idea and I know this will crush him. A year is a very long time apart. I'm thinking I should just give him some sex and stay boyfriend/girlfriend and see where we are when he comes home!



Most Helpful Girl

  • The fact that you are so worried about getting engaged probably means you aren't ready.

    Yes, it will hurt him if you say you aren't don't want to get engaged yet, but it will hurt a lot more if you say you are then have him thinking about it and looking forward to marrying you, only to have you break it off when he gets back, or in a few months. At that point there might be no hope of any relationship at all, but if you tell him you just need some more time and you'd rather be his girlfriend for another year, he should be able to understand that and you two can see how it goes and decide at the end of the year what you want to do.

    You shouldn't feel like you need to say yes so you don't hurt his feelings. This is a huge decision and you shouldn't commit if you know you aren't ready.


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What Girls Said 2

  • It's about the same situation I am in. Except I'm the one leaving. I've decided to go with the engagment because it means a lot to me. If you still want your freedom, don't do it. It's your choice, don't let him pressure you into it. Only do it if your heart says you want it.

    • My heart says a year is a very long time and my hormones are raging, and I don't honestly think I could keep these legs together for a year. This alone makes me pretty certain that I am not ready for the engagement ring. If it is truly love we will find each other when he returns!

  • your young, he is always working, you don't quite no what you want, so just tell him that your not ready .

    its not fair to yourself to not experience other posibilities,

    if you guys sencerly still love each other at the end of his term, then you need to spend serious time together, and get the whole new level, you know?

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