Why won't he propose?

My partner and I are both 27 and after 7 years together I'm still waiting for the proposal. He has known for the last three years that I have wanted to get married. I have never nagged about it and have been patiently waiting but now I am getting so fed up of waiting and its starting to cause problems in our relationship. I have told him how I feel and he has promised it will happen. I know that should be enough but with everybody around me asking what's taking so long and getting married and starting families I just feel really frustrated that I'm still waiting to be the wife of the man I love.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Tough situation. I saw a similar experience unfold with a friend of mine, and here was his explanation: he hated the whole marriage concept, and by that he didn't want to have a big wedding, church wedding etc; his wife wanted the whole shebang, mainly because her friends were feeding her all this crap about a wedding, and what type of ceremony it should be, how many people, etc; so the more he saw that happening, the more he got pissed; at the time though, he would say he wasn't ready. Also, he didn't like the fact that people were telling his wife to be of what he or she should do about getting married. Finally the girlfriend (wife now) could't take it anymore, and they both ended up having a discussion of the whole situation, which led to him confessing as to why no wedding had taken place yet; the wife was happy to have a small wedding and ignore the friend's bs, as long as they got married, so they did. And now that whole thing is kind of a joke. :)

    My question to you is, what does your boyfriend think about wedding ceremonies and such? For the most part, guys are not too happy with such things, but some guys are less happy about it than others. Other guys of course, insist on such things.but has your boyfriend ever discussed having a wedding and the cost of it, etc?

    Also, you mention of people asking as to why he hasn't proposed. Is he aware of the people asking about the fact that is time for him to propose? Is your boyfriend ok with people asking that? Maybe he is the type that is pissed about people trying to dictate what he needs to do, so the more people dictate what needs to happen, the farther the proposal date gets pushed.

    • He mentioned that he would like to get married in New York City Hall. I really don't want to get married there as my sister and her family would want to be there are I couldn't expect them to pay to fly there. As for the rest of the details I don't mind. I made the big mistake last week of taking him to a place I considered would be good for a wedding, I didn't tell him why we were there, but he's not stupid and guessed, then accused me of forcing him to get married, which really hurt.

    • And have you told him as to why you don't want to get married in nyc hall? And how does he feel about the whole family being there? Remember, is your wedding, not anybody else's; what's more important to you--getting married, or for people to be at your wedding?

    • Yes, but we both want family there and have discussed this. Family is important to us. I always thought I was a level headed person but this has thrown me! I had to fight back tears at dinner tonight because he sarcasticaly asked me how the wedding plans were going. I asked him what he meant and he pretended it was a genuine question, it really wasn't. I really want to ask 'when?', but that might ruin a surprise. At the end of the day I will probably wait for ever for him. I love him

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Then propose yourself. Its the 21st Century, why can't you propose? Sure, you want to be the one to be proposed to, why can't you do it? Make it romantic, make it special, and like Nike says, just do it. If he says no, then just say, "well, I've already took my turn at proposals, its your turn next"

    If this doesn't work, talk to him. Tell him how much you want to get married, and how much you love him.