Why do you want to get married?

My boyfriend raised the question about marriage today. He wants to get married some day but when I asked why his answer was that it's what people do. That it'll be strange to call me his girlfriend if we are 60 and that 'wife' sounds more long term and serious than 'girlfriend'.

Neither of us are religious in anyway and to me it would seem really hypocritical to go to a church and promise to God that we will stay together for the rest of our lives. I also feel like I could never make a promise like that since I know that people change and the way I feel now might change in the future.

His answer doesn't really explain it to me but it is obviously what he would want in the future.

Maybe if I hear some more convincing arguments I might warm to the idea. So you who aren't too religious - What are your reasons for wanting to get married?


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What Guys Said 1

  • 1) it's an insurance policy

    -Marriage, in its purest form is about a lifetime. There's no more having to search for someone of the opposite sex, no more being alone for months at a time, no more having to do everything by yourself.

    -It's also insurance in a financial sense. Two people make it a lot less devastating when someone loses their job.

    2) It's a guarantee

    -Again, this is about marriage in its pure form. You are guaranteed not to get std's, or just to be a number to the person.

    -You are guaranteed that if you have a bad day or week or month, the other person isn't just gonna dump you and walk away.

    -You are also guaranteed to have a companion, friend, and lover all in one package, all living with you, sleeping right next to you.

    3) It's a commitment

    -Like I've highlighted above, this is about "real" marriages, not the socially obligated, tax-incentivized 5-10 year "marriages" that exist now.

    -You are committed to caring for this person for the rest of your life. This may sound like a burden, but when you're emotionally attached to the person, you'll want to care for this person, no matter what.

    4) It's timeless

    -While you're young, it's really easy to find a bazillion people of the opposite sex who will do anything from a one-night stand to being in a relationship. This doesn't last.

    -As you get older, your options become more limited, most people are interested in more than just a quick hookup, and people find that their priorities mature from a getting good lay and someone to hang out with when their friends are busy to someone who provides and cares for them.

    Some finishing words:

    -You have to want to be married for it to work. It's entirely too easy to get divorced these days, so if you're uncomfortable about being married or don't see marriage as any different than dating, but with rings, your marriage won't last 5 years.

    -You also need to be very secure in yourself and the person you're getting married to. If you don't trust your significant other, then your marriage is screwed. If you aren't trustworthy, your marriage is screwed as well.


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